Friday Night

Friday Night I went an saw Dirty Pretty Things.

It was a great concert, even though it cost me £6 for half a pint (well I brought two pints but only made it back with half).

The atmosphere was brilliant and they sounded great, lost of pushing and shoving going on and also lots of drinking, I think a good time was had by all.

I have posted some pics, hope you enjoy

Just some pics from an Orson Concert I went to

Another of the Cool guitarist

Lead singer going mad

The Drummer

The Lead Singer

Close up

The Cool guitarist





The best shot of the night

The Past Week

I don't know where to start.

It really has been a strange one, on Thursday my son was taken to hospital with breathing difficulties but he is all well now and came home on Friday, he was put on a nebuliser for a while and we had to bring home an asthma pump which he has been taking.

On Friday the gf went out and got drunk and when she came in we talked for a while and i thought my luck was going to be in but because she talked so much she told me she was tired so we went to sleep.

Saturday The gf was working during the day so i did the manly thing and stripped the sofas of all of their covers and washed them. I then picked her up after work, we popped to her mums then went home, she decided to go and lie down for a while as she was still tired from staying at the hospital and from her Friday night drinking, so I followed her upstarts and was cuddling her as she was in bed and grabbing her bum and things, when she suddenly grabs my hand and says, is this what you want and puts it between her legs (OK i think I played on her being tired and wanting to go to sleep but i wasn't going to let it happen until something else did) so we have sex, it was sex there was some passions but it was more of a quickie than an all out looking after each others wants and need. I then cooked diner and went out with friends, we did a small pub crawl which resulted in me having a lift home for the local constabulary (I thanked them very much), it was a door to door service and I felt like a VIP and not the drunken bum I really was.

Sunday woke on the sofa fully dressed, even with my jacket on. The rest of the day was spent recovering at my mums as she was cooking Sunday lunch so I took my son with me.

During the week was going OK, small arguments here and there but nothing drastic but then Wednesday I get back from football an hour later than usual and the gf is not talking to me, so as I was feeling a bit tired I took my book upstairs and went to bed to read, she then comes in and starts moaning that I want to live the bachelor life and that I don't actually care about her or my son and that I never do things with him and that I ignore him. She tells me she doesn't love me any more and hasn't for a while, she is still with me because she wants the feeling back. She wants me to move out over the Christmas period so her and my son can do their thing and that I won't have anything to do with my son when she leaves, so I agree with her if that's what she wants (I'm really thinking that she will have the biggest fight on her hands she has ever seen if she even tries and stops me from seeing him, but for now I let it slid) So I just agree with her about the love thing but because I don't like confrontation about these sort of things (or maybe its I am just fed up with the whole thing that I just agree with her and tell her I will leave tomorrow (this would have been last night). But I start making her laugh and messing about as hey if we are going to split up I might as well have a laugh with her now. So anyway she goes and turns everything off downstairs and comes to bed were we cuddle a little and she tells me she is sorry for everything, so now i am confused but I do want to be with her, so I tell her everything is going to be OK (I hope anyway) and we go to sleep.

Yesterday was a better day and we end up going to bed about 11 and watching and end of a film, now I don't know her signals these days so she is lying with her back to me and I put my hand on her lower thigh close between her legs and slowly move my little finger closer and she doesn't move away so I move closer and closer and we start having some fun and we start to (well to me) make love, I had the feeling in my heart and head that she really wanted to do this and that she was doing it because she wanted it and because she felt horny and for the first time in a long time I felt the closeness between us.

I will see how the weekend goes.

The Weekend and I'm confused

Well the weekend started ok but then everything fell apart.

during the week it was my works off-site, this is where we all get out of the office and decide as a department where we are going what we have done and also to relax and have a few drinks and meet each other. I work for a big company and it is amazing who you don't see for a year.

But this is what happened

The hotel is sort of local to me and the gf said if it was there then I was supposed to go home and not stay over, thus me missing the fun part of the evening as we get to stay over, so I lied and told her the hotel I was staying in was somewhere else, which was going ok until i left a bit of paper on the side with the actual hotel that I stayed in.

So On Friday she asked me where this bit of paper came from and i denied I knew so once again lying (to me I was doing this to avoid confrontation, how wrong was I) so in the evening she asks again and I tell her the truth and she blows up, I understand why she did this, so we don't talk for the rest of the night and I end up sleeping on the sofa, the next day she goes shopping all day so no text messages were swapped between us and when she gets home she still isn't really talking to me. In the end we end up talking about it and why I lied and we end up going to bed to sleep.

When we get to bed though I can't sleep as all I want to do is touch her and get close and make love but she isn't having any of it, so I decide to get up and she asks me why, I tell her its because I am frustrated and all I want to do is have sex with her and then it starts.

I am at the do and tell her that I feel she is physically detached from me and we start talking about it and i learn some home truths and also her thoughts. I ask her that I want us to go and see someone but she doesn't want to and how could they possibly help us. She then tells me she doesn't like sex and i turn around and tell her that I cannot believe that at 22 she doesn't want sex and me at 29 am not going to live a celibate lifestyle. The gf then tells me some of the reason why.

1 She doesn't trust me as one time when she was pregnant I came home with a love bite (this is sort of true, but what happened and ok still wrong, I was out drinking with friends and we ended up going to a club and me and this woman started doing tequila's but the salt and lemon we did slightly differently, basically I was licking salt from her neck and vice versa and a couple of times she bite and sucked at the same time thus leaving the mark.)

2 Still pregnant when she was sleeping I thought I would wake her up for some love making but instead of shaking her I played with her and with the response I got I thought she wanted to do this and at the time she did, except when it stopped she had a go at me. (I admit I did do this a couple of times once our son was born (yes I should learn from my mistakes) and once again she responded but with the same outcome of her going through the motions but then her having a go at me).

3 If she hadn't of been pregnant we wouldn't be together now.

4 She doesn't trust me (the love bit, the waking her, lying about the hotel)

5 I may have missed some other bits out but was tired by this stage

I might add that she has also kissed someone, which I have added earlier in my blog.

So with these revelations we both decided that maybe we should call time on the relationship and that after Christmas we would sort things out, where who's going live, who my son is going to live with etc. Which I was fine with, we both said at the time that we didn't actually feel sad about what was happening.

So that was Saturday night, then Sunday was just a normal day like nothing had changed, even though in my head I am trying to get to grips what will happen in the new year.

On Monday though things are still the norm, when we are sitting down and cuddling she mutters/whispers, "lets just see how things go" I don't respond to this and nothing else is mentioned about it. So now I am trying to figure out does she mean "US" or "Things in the New Year". So tomorrow I am going to sit down with her and find out exactly what she meant as I am now in limbo.

Wednesday 22nd Nov

I got up and my son also woke up so we went to the bathroom and I washed shaved, did my hair. I then took my son downstairs and ironed my clothes for work. I then sorted my son's breakfast out and left for work after going upstairs to my sleeping gf and giving her a kiss, I then gave my son a kiss and a cuddle and said bye.

Then spent the next 8/9 hours at work just doing the usual.

I get home about half 5 and the gf is lying on the sofa and my son was hiding behind a pillow, hiding from me. I then turn around to go and sort out my football kit when all of a sudden then is a screaming match in the front room between my son and gf. So I walk in to try and calm things down when I get abuse from her telling me what a pain he has been all day and hasn't been doing what he has been told to do etc, so I listen, but in my head i am thinking "well there is plenty of washing up to be done, instead of sitting on your arse all day (except when you worked for two hours this morning) you could have left him to do what he wanted to do and got on with some housework, OK I hate doing it to but it would give you two some breathing space. You know when your on the computer he will want to play it, why not wait till he is in bed to do it."

So anyway she decides that she needs a break from him and basically is wanting me to take him away, so I get him dressed and forget about football and me and my son leave the house, I am not 10 steps away when I get a text saying bring him back, which I ignore. We get to the car and I start trying to call my mum to see if she is in so I can go and see her and get some dinner etc and i know she loves it when her grandson sees her, well I get no reply and I finally get my son in to the car but he is so upset with what has happened that he doesn't want to go anywhere but see his mum. So I take my son home and my gf and him make up and I go to football.

When i get home the gf is really sorry for what has happened and tells me that they have made up and had kisses and cuddles, but all i can think of is why did this happen? Will it happen again?