The Proposel

Well as I am no good at talking face to face when it comes to somethings I have emailed the gf about what she suggested at the weekend.

Here it is

Hey sexy how's you?

I have been trying to get my head around what you said at the weekend and I would love to be able to talk to you face to face about this but i can't.

So you have said I am allowed to sleep with other women, why have you said this, i have loads of thoughts going around my head about it and here are some.

1. Because you don't enjoy sex anymore and don't think I should go without?

2. You think you have to do this because you kissed someone at the weekend?

3. You want to kiss people in the future?

4. You want to be able to sleep with other people?

5. Its a test and if I did sleep with someone else then its all over between us?

I love you loads and I don't want anything to come between us so please try and reply to this message without getting stressed or anything please.

Love you loads and loads


************************************************************************************

Update

I didn't get a reply email but we did have a quick chat in bed (why is it women think that bed is the place for talking and talking and talking, i go to bed to sleep)

She said that the reason she told me I could sleep with other women was because when she kissed this guy on Saturday there was no feeling in it and that it was just a kiss so why couldn't it be the same with me if I slept with another woman, I sort of looked puzzled but got her drift. She then asked me did I want to sleep with other women so I told her no, she said have you been thinking about it, which I said no, she then asked if i did think about it would i tell her, which i said yes.

I did say to her though that if this was going to happen that I would have a problem as there is no way I would bring them home and I can see them wanting them to take me back to their place and also that I cam no good at puling she would have to bring them home for me, which she said no.

What am I to do

The Weekend has been good.

I have manged to get things done that I have wanted to, plus a bit more.

Yesterday was busy as we had to clean the house as we had people coming round to view and as we work up late we ran round the house trying to get it in to order. Once they had been we started to get ready to pop in to town when the phone rang asking us if we would like to take another viewing, so I said yes so we now had to rush round town.

Well with all that done and the final viewing of the day out the way I sat down and relaxed for a little while same as the gf.

Once I have chilled a bit I start getting dinner ready for me and my son as the gf is going out later and will be eating with a friend. I say get ready all I am doing is putting a pizza in the oven with some garlic bread and cooking a bit of pasta to go with it.

Around 7 the gf's friend turns up and they go and get ready whilst I cook them their pizza and pour a couple of drinks for them.

Once they are ready off they go to party in town, so I switch the xbox on and start playing but really am not getting the hang of the game so I change to a different one and I'm still not doing to well, either I'm to tired or I really do need glasses I turn it off and watch a DVD. So once the DVD is finished I decide its time to bed so up I go switch the TV on and promptly pass out. I am suddenly I am awake and the gf is next to me saying sorry, I am still trying to wake up, I get her to cuddle me as she is freezing cold. She then tells me what she is sorry for, she was talking to someone in the club and they kissed her and for a second she kissed him back, now a second can mean that or it can mean 1 min but whichever it is she still kissed back.

The thing is though it doesn't bother me, I'm not sure if its because she told me or maybe something I just expected and from what I was hearing she wasn't blaming the drink but saying that she is not sure if she has done it before which still didn't bother me, so I tell her to get out of the bed, have a wash etc and get back in an I will warm her up. So she eventually does this but for some reason she is incredibly horny, so I just go with the flow and he make love and after we talk a little about what has happened but she is feeling horny again and this never happens, well it did in the old days. So we make love again and this time was even better than the first. We lie down cuddling together and talk about what has happened and she turns round to me and tells me she doesn't mind me sleeping with other people. Now I know this sounds great but in practice this is not something I have ever contemplated. She tells me that she is serious as she understands that she doesn't like sex as much anymore and that its not fair on me to have to go without. So I joking say yeah ok and she tells me that she means it.

Next morning I wake up and the gf is near enough ready for work so comes and says goodbye to me. As I am dozing off my son comes and jumps on me, so its time for me to move, so as I struggle to get up the phone rings and its the gf telling me that she is nearly at work but she didn't realise the time and is now early so we have a quick chat and I mention what she said last night about me sleeping with other people and she says yes she remembers and yes she meant it. Now this sounds like a great idea, I get to keep my gf but have sex with other people, now what a dream and yes it is dream, I know my gf would be heart broken if I did this and also I am not one for pulling women in a bar and having one night stands, I am shy and I get nervous, I have had one proper one night stand in my life and yes it was good but afterwards there was something missing. Now what I am also confused about is if I do agree to this and sleep with other women does this mean I have to let her sleep with other men and if so how can this relationship last. OK I know that there are swinger couples out there but in practice we would not be a swingers couple as I know she would want me to go out by myself as as I have said in the past she doesn't like sex, but she might like the idea with a stranger for a one night stand. I'm going round in circles aren't I.

So this is my predicament

I have been told that I am allowed to sleep with other people - I love my gf and only want sex with her but as it was before.

If I am allowed to sleep with other women does this mean she is allowed to sleep with other men.

Do I set ground rules or do i just say no but stay frustrated, sex is sex right??

Do I just try to find a fuck buddy and tell my gf about her, that way she knows I am not messing around with other women just one or does that make it harder?

I don't know but I will be adding to this I think so come back for updates

I just have to say

Yesterday was a bit of a strange one.

I was having a good day and work wasn't going to bad when I got talking to Tess (she knows who she is). She was having a bad time with her bf, we got chatting about all sorts and it started to get a bit hot between us (in a good way) but what was great about it was that I managed to make her smile and be happy again.

also had a quick chat with doc and she seems to be back to her old self, being busy and rushing off fixing people.

If you two come past, Hi and take it easy and if you want a chat or anything leave a comment and i will get hold of you somehow.

They have to prove you wrong

So last night I got home and cooked pancakes for me and my son, which we devoured very quickly.

It was then time to clean the house, so I started on the bathroom so that I wouldn't wake my son once I got him in to bed, once that was done I went downstairs to wash up and get my son ready for bed, so once the washing up was finished I took my son to bed and read him a bedtime story.

It was then time to tackle the lounge which didn't take as long as I thought so I went and finished the last of the washing up, as I was doing this I could hear the front door opening, now this was early for my gf to be home but I stuck me head round the corner and it was her, so I carried on washing up. She walks in to the kitchen.

me "your back early"
gf "Nothing else had to be done and as my lift was leaving early, I was allowed to go to.
me "cool"
gf "give me a cuddle"
me "no, in a min I'm washing up"
She then pulls me away from the sink and plants her lips on mine and kisses me like we used to kiss, so i kiss her back and you can feel the passion in the air, so we kiss and hug and hands are going all over the place, she pulls me in to the front room and we start kissing again and she tells me to go get a condom on so i run round the house looking for when and when i get back she is stripped from the waist waiting for me.

We then go upstairs to get a bit more comfortable and that is what they say is that.

OK not quite, it was the best session and passionate session we have had for ages and i loved every minute of it, OK I know this doesn't mean its going to happen every night but I do hope that she enjoyed it and will start coming back out of her shell.

We then go downstairs and chat about the day and as i have had to put a wash load on I stay downstairs and send the gf to bed saying I will wait for it to finish, I get a call, I have fallen asleep on the sofa and she is just checking i am coming to bed, so I empty the washing machine and head up. Once in bed she asks about the show I was watching last night and why were the couple like us so I explained and she said oh right and she sort of agreed that yes they were like us.

I had been thinking that after we had made love if she had watched any of it but after the bed talk she hadn't.

Well i will not be pushing anything but i have my fingers crossed that this is a sign of good things to come.

Gagging for it

OK

It has now been roughly a month since me and the gf have made love and I am now finding it very hard now to do anything about it.

Valentines was nice but we didn't make love and i thought then that something may happen during the weekend, which didn't, then on Sunday I was getting out of thr bath she whispers to me that once the party is over and i am back home we might have sex.

So this gets me excited and thinking great thoughts, so i get home and cook us all dinner I then get our son to bed and so we relax a bit and watch TV. we then watch what we normally so on a Sunday and I can tell just by watching her she is getting tired, so once I have watched the TV I head of to bed but she has now got her head buried in a book so I say goodnight to her. so I drift off to sleep but I hear her come in to the bedroom so i stir and try to cuddle her to instigate the first move but she is having none of it so I turn over and mutter "guess we're not making love tonight then"

"Nope, night"

So I go to sleep.

Last night was sort of similar and I head of to bed alone, I text her and ask if she is going to come to bed so we can have some fun, the reply I get is "I'm watching something on 5" so i have a check and it is "some of the worst ads ever", so I send a text back saying know how to make a guy feel wanted then. I switch the telly on just so I can chill out for 5 mins when a program called "The Sex Inspectors" comes on. So I start watching it and the couple on there could have been me and my gf. So I text her to put it on and that the couple could be us and she texts back "just leave it Ben" so again no luck or advance in any direction.

I really need to look in to getting us to relate

Son's Birthday

Well at the weekend my son was three and he was so spoilt.

He has toys everywhere now. We brought him a toy garage and it was to big to wrap so we left it in the landing for him and when he woke all i heard was a wow and a squeal of excitement and he came in to our room and said "wow Santa has been". I couldn't help but smile and i heard the gf tell him it wasn't Santa.


So Saturday was spent opening presents with him then popping out to get bits and pieces for his party.

Once i had finished running around I had to then drop the gf at the sports centre with all of the food she had prepared and all of the party bits.

I then get back and start on the hot food, I am left with 40/45 mins to cook an hours worth of food, so I know its cutting it close so i start to get every baking tray and roasting tin out and fill them with sausage rolls, mini sausages pizza slices and stick it all in the oven making sure I have my times down correctly.

So after the first load of food has been in I think i have time for another so in that goes, I then look at the clock and realise I am going to be late and so is my son for his own party, well he has to make an entrance.

Whilst the food is cooking and i am just getting it in to the containers i get a call from the gf's mum, "where are you" so I tell her i am just finishing the food and will be there in a moment. so I get everything in to the car and my son (who I have also had to get dressed up).

We get to the sports centre and luckily I see some friends who are coming with their kids and get them to help me carry the rest of the food and bits and pieces in.

Once we arrive at the party it is all decked out with pirate flags and all of the children are dressed as pirates to, including my son. Now I don't know about you but when I was a child if i had anything that resembled a sword that was it I would be hitting, fighting or beating anything with it, now imagine 12 kids (mostly boys) all with swords and all excited, yup recipe for a disaster, I was waiting for eyes to be poked, fingers to be hit and legs to be falling off, but there were no injuries.

So we let them play about for a bit and waste some energy then feed them, got to love E numbers. once they have had their fill will start to play the party games and this goes extremely well, they all play well together and no fights break out which is a bonus.

So once that is all done and the cake has been cut up and placed in to party bags all the children leave and its clean up time, luckily there isn't as much to take home than what we arrived with.

Then Sunday comes along and we have to head in to town to buy a friends little girl a present for her birthday, now I am still a bit tired from the day before as it was so hectic so am a little short tempered but i hold it in check.

Once that is done I take my son to the friends party which is in a Children's Indoor activity centre. Now I don't mind the places to much as you can sit down whilst they play, except that there are so many of them and the noise at times can be unbearable but i get through it and my son has a great time.

So that was the weekend, very busy and a lot of fun

And so Valentines ended

Last night was good

I cooked dinner for all of us and we sat down and ate as a family. I then got my son ready for bed and when I finally got him back in bed for the 10th time me and my gf relaxed as a couple.

I got the ice cream out and opened the champagne and we cuddled up on the sofa and relaxed and it was such a great feeling.

We then watched all of her programs, Top gear, followed by Ugly Betty, nevermind the buzzcocks and then (which was not my choice as I was happy to go to bed) St Elmo's fire.

So it wasn't all bad

Well I say that but last week my gf showed me a preview of what she might were Valentines day and it was stunning and got my nether regions in overdrive but I kept it in check. Then last night I asked if she could wear it again whilst I put the DVD on, which she did and I was very happy.

So we start watching the film and i can tell she is getting a bit tired and she turns round to me and says if i want sex i better go and get a condom which I do.

So she strips of her undies and we start to play (I won't go in to much detail unless you ask) and she comes which to me is a good thing but now she doesn't want to do anything else so i am now left frustrated, so I sit on the sofa next to her.

It's now near the end of the film so I go upstairs for a wash and shave and wait for to come to bed, which she does and we cuddle up and she starts saying that she doesn't deserve me and why am I with her seeing as we don't have sex, so I just hold her in my arms and tell her as long as i can hold you I will be here and that I love you. As she can't sleep when we are cuddled we turn over and go to sleep.

I think this will be a good Valentines

Last night we didn't argue or break up, shout or scream at each other.

For the past few years either the day before or on Valentines day we have fought or augured, split up or just had a crap time, but this time it all feels really good.

So my fingers are crossed that

a. I will not burn dinner
b. I have brought her something she will like
c. She likes the card
d. We have fun

Happy Valentines Day all

The comes and goes

What a great weekend I have had.

Friday was spent in in the evening and was very chilled and relaxed which was great, no arguing no moaning. My son was very well behaved and went to be nearly on time and and the gf we so relaxed with each other that it felt like the old times.

Saturday I spent the day with my son as the gf was working so we popped in to town to get a birthday and valentines card, did a little shopping then went home and I cooked us burgers for lunch (they were calling my name in the supermarket so I listened to the voices in my head). Once lunch was eaten went and picked up the gf from work, when we got home we all went for a nap.

When we woke I cooked us dinner and we got ready to go out. The gf parents turned up to look after my son and we headed off to the pub for a friends birthday. So we get to the pub and I order our drinks up we join the group and from there we have a great time, we were laughing together and basically having a great time, now this normally doesn't happen as we have either had an argument before we have left the house or one on the way to the pub. But this time was just like the old days, so we are having quite a few drinks but we are supposed to be back for 12 as the parents need to get home and everyone else has decided they want to go clubbing I wasn't really bothered so i told my gf to go and at first she was "only if your sure" I told her to go for it and gave her the last of my cash and as they couldn't make up their mind as to where they were going i leave them to it to get a bottle of coke.

So whilst waiting to get my bottle of coke (to join my bottle of JD at home) I get a call from a friend who has decided he is not going with them, so he meets me at the takeaway and we wonder back to mine and have a few drinks and watch some TV, he then makes a move leaving me by myself. So I end up sticking a DVD on and pouring myself a few drinks waiting for the gf to come home, I get a text from her at half 1 saying she is just getting a taxi and at half 2 she still isn't home, so I am getting a little worried and I get a reply saying she met some friends, she finally gets home at 3 and she is soaking from head to toe were it was raining so hard and is having great difficulty in standing so I strip her down and give her my dressing down and get her to bed where she promptly passes out.

I awake Sunday and look over and my gf is still in bed, she is supposed to be at work, then I remember we were talking first thing in the morning and she said she felt rough and didn't want to go to work, so I told her not to and before you could get me to ring in for her i fall asleep. So yesterday was spent in dressing gowns and doing absolutely bugger all.

How to make a packed lunch

Last night I got in made dinner for my son and me as gf was working, once i finally got him to bed I decided to chill out for a little bit, after filling the washing machine up and the tumble dryer.

Then after my program finished I went and did the washing up, made myself a cuppa and waited for the gf to come in.

Once she arrives a make her a cup of tea and she notices that I hadn't put away my sons lunch box, so I say its for when you make his lunch tomorrow. She then says come with me and I'll show you how to do it, well seeing as I was in the middle of watching something and she starts raising her voice saying why should I be the one to do it in the morning, I get him ready for school etc, all she has to do is get him dressed and take him. So I tell her lets do it when our programs are finished and she storms out the room calling me something. So anyway when my programme has finished I attempt to make his lunch, I remember what she told me last time and thought I had it right.

This is what I did

1. Take one slice of bread and spread with jam
2. Fold bread and cut in half
3. Place in large container
4. Add banana
5. Add cheese stick
6. Add baby tomatoes to small container
7. Place both in fridge

She then comes down and changes it

This is what she did

1. Take containers out of fridge
2. Take banana out of large box
3. Place small container with tomatoes into large container
4. Add ginger bread man (organic)
5. Place back in fridge

So what is a guy to do??

Ever had one of those Day

The day didn't start to bad.

Got to work and everything seemed to be going fine, then wham, balls, I still need to do that. So I get on with what I needed and it took all day as well as all the other things that needed doing. Whilst that is going on I get an email "Hi son its dad, can you pop round on your way home".

I don't get many of these emails but when I do I know something is going right, so I get round there and he has this big idea that he rents my house and i live in his and pay the mortgage on it and he rents mine, once i have figured out the why and how much there is no way it is going to happen, I had to tell him this today.

Once i get in have dinner which was very nice after that put my son to bed and relax downstairs. Then the gf asks

"have you got a babysitter for Saturday?"
Me "nope, didn't think we needed one are you gong out?"
gf "Oh I thought we were going out?"
me "I'm sure I asked you and you said you didn't, so are you coming out then?"
gf "well not if you don't want me to and besides I never said that"
me "Ok great I will sort a baby sitter out then"
gf "its ok I have got my mum babysitting, but she can't have him all night"
me "Ok I will ask my mum to have him overnight"

Then it turns in to this argument about oh its ok for my mum to babysit when she can have him over night but not when we might have to come back early. So I say no, but thought it would be easier for my mum to have him over night. Then she starts saying all sorts of things which really don't make sense, so I say ok, your mum can come round here and we will come home early.

To me this behaviour is strange as yes ok I will ask her family first if they can babysit as they are only a 5 min drive away instead of asking my mum who is 30 mins away, because it is easier. She seems to think I have an ulterior motive and maybe yes I do, maybe I want to stay out later.

But then in the end we cuddled on the sofa and watched TV and relaxed together which felt great as we have not done this for ages.

Oh Doc, Happy Plaster Day, hope the physio is cute for you and doesn't put you through to much at the beginning.

To be more of a family

My gf always picks the wrong times to talk to me, it is always when I have got in to bed and am ready to sleep and my brain is on a wind down.

Last night she came up as i went up early so I could shill a little and read my book. So she comes up and say I want us to be more of a family and do things together.

This is what the conversation sort of went.

gf "I want us to be more of a family and do things"
me "ok"
gf "is that it"
me"yes, what else do you want me to say?"
gf "well what are you going to do about it?"
me "I will have a think about it"
gf "Why don;t you listen to me, who do you expect us to go to someone when you won't even talk to me"
me "I don't know but I don't have anything to say right now"

Another part of the conversation

gf "I want us to go on a family holiday"
me "ok but i will have to see what funds are like, are you going to help pay"
gf "why should i help you work, you buy yourself all these things you don't need for the computer, music you download you won't listen to"
me ""
gf "and why is it when i want to go out a friday or saturday night you want to go out the other night, why can't you just stay in with your son"
me "fine"
gf "you are always out, wednesday you play football and are getting back later and later, your out tomorrow night all night and not coming back"

Which is true but only because it makes more sense for me to stay at a friends house instead of going home to bed and driving back to work when i wake up.

gf "so what have you got to say, what are you thinking?"
me" nothing, i haven't got anything to say

I ended up telling her I would think about it and went to sleep

And that was that.