Christmas is coming and I'm going to get fat

Hello all

Not been here ofr a while but that is because for some reason my blog is banned when I try and access it from work, I know that there is a rude story in it but don't think it is that, so it may be due to the links on the left. So all i can do, is create new posts and hope that they come out ok.

I started my job on the last day of November and it is going ok, it took me a week to be able to start as the one account I needed could not be created because of stupidity but hey that's what happens.

Home life is going well, just sill arguments now and no walking out or telling each other that we are calling it quits. My son is doing really well at school and is like an excited puppy at the moment with the build up to Christmas and to be honest so am I.

Nothing much else has been going on, I went out for our football end of year dinner and didn't win anyting but did have a good drink but not really been out.

Christmas shopping is all done apart from some stocking bits oh and food shopping.

Not much to add so

Happy Christmas and have a great time whatever you are doing

x

Updates and things

Well what has been happening

Me and the gf have been getting on great and things are now going better in the bedroom department which is always good which in turn day to day stuff has been going well too, maybe a couple of slips by me but nothing major.

My son is still loving school and we had a parents evening last week and they only had praise for him, he is doing well in numeracy and literature. He is currently on Orange books and the next level is  black, which they aim the children to be at when they finish year one not when they are only 3 months in to the new term. He is one of the top children in the top group of numeracy, (can you tell I am proud of him). HE gets on well with all the other kids and the teachers also said how he is always smiling which I think is great.

As you know my contract didn't get renewed so I was looking for a job, well I found one and I start 30th Nov. I had an informal interview on the 21st October discussing the job and what it would entail etc but because of rules and regs they had to advertise internally and as they were doing it from the beginning of the following week there wasn't much I could do. I waited a week then sent an email asking how it was going, I was told that there had been a couple of applications, so I didn't hold my breath.
I play football with these guys on a Friday so when I saw them the following week I was told nothing had been done about it yet and they weren't sure what was going on. Fair enough I thought so had a game of football and went home for the weekend wondering what I was going to do, as during that week I had felt very down as I was doing the crappy jobs at work because there was noone else to them and nothing was coming through the job pipeline.

I get to work Monday and nothing major is happening when in my mail box pops in a meeting request for the job, I accept thinking that it is only for half hour that maybe they have found someone but maybe have something else to offer me but maybe not as well paid etc. So I went to the meeting and when I walked in I had a good feeling about it, I was asked a couple of questions by the chap I will be working with, he then left and the manager turned round and said, as you have sown interest still in the role we would like to take you on, just like that, no formal interview, no CV handed in, I probably had the biggest grin on my face in my head I was beaming. So we went through what I will be doing and my hours pay etc, I have to work 8 weekends a year on for this I get a 10% uplift, It isn't a fully permanent role, it is fixed term but I do get the perks, so holiday and sick pay, pension after 6 months etc, I was told that they normally renew the contract unless of course you are rubbish, most of the time, they have to have a set number of permy and fixed term contract staff on site.

So I have a job, in a great relationship again and my son is doing great, it can't get much better than this at the moment, so I am going to savour it.

Any Jobs going?

Found out today that my contract will not be extended past the end of December, which means I need to get looking for a job.

If you know of any then let me know.

I have started sending my CV out and have started looking on jobs pages, emails to friends and family also have been sent.

Let's hope there are jobs out there otherwise I'm not sure what I am going to do.

I thought

That weekends were supposed to be relaxing after working all week, but this weekend seemed to be the opposite and I (well think) am glad to be back at work.

Friday me and my son took a walk to the Indian for a takeaway, as it was pouring down we were in water proof jackets and my son was in his wellies, but for some reason these didn't keep the water out. It could have been because on the way there and back he wasn't walking through the puddles, but jumping and running and splashing as much as he could, we we got home I made him undress in the porch, many a time I had to do this as a child when my mum wouldn't let me  in because I had fallen in to the stream or was covered in head to toe in mud, as I went in the gf helped to get him undressed and as I walked past i heard a splashing sound and a shriek from my gf, there was so much water in one of his wllies that she also got soaked.

Saturday was busy.

07:00 Me and son up and dressed
07:15 Out of the house and go to the hairdressers.
08:00 Back home, time for a wash and breakfast and hang the washing out.
08.30 Make up son's bag for football and get him dressed for football practice, make drinks, tea, and snacks.
09:15 Leave house and take son to Football practice. Meet up with son's uncle (14yrs old) who has been staying at his dad's (Son's granddad)
11:25 Get home after waiting with uncle for his dad to pick him up after watching sons football practice, get swimming stuff ready.
11:45 Go to town to pay bills and pay money in to bank with gf and son and pick up a couple of bits in Asda.
12:25 Get to sports centre, get changed and take son swimming whilst the gf watches (doesn't have a swimming costume/bikini that fits so won't come with us).
13:30 Get out of the swimming pool after bribing son
14:00 Home after getting changed and having a quick snack
14:05 Leave and go to garage to get new tyres
14:20 Wander in to town as tyres will take about an hour.
14:35 Find a café for a bacon & Egg sarnie and a latte, go to order, sorry we've stopped cooking now, I'll just have the coffee then.
15:01 Can tell the café wants rid of people and is closing so drink up and take a walk to Debenhams, have a look around, find a pair of jeans for £16, pick them up oh and ah before putting them back as only brought a pair last week, look at the T-shirts, don't like the style or the price so leave and head in to Game, look at the prices and what games they have, also don't like the selection or prices so leave.
15:20 Take a wander back to the garage and hope that tyres are done, they are so hang around for 10 mins whilst someone is being served and they sort my paperwork.
15:40 Get home, the gf is asleep on the sofa and son is still snoozing, potter in the kitchen put wash on to try and turn whites back to white and not grey (any tips welcome).
16:00 Son wakes up and the gf is also now awake, me and son head upstairs and play the play station.
17:30 Get ready to go to mum in laws as the gf's aunt is over from Germany and wants to meet the family including the gf's eldest brothers gf and kids (I'm not one for family gathers for some reason so wasn't really looking forward to it). takeaway was on the menu again so I had the same as the night before as it was good.
22:00 Leave and get home so that son can go to bed and so I can relax.
22:45 Relax alot and start closing eyes to go to bed.


Sunday wasn't to bad, up at 9.30 and sort breakfast out for me and son, put washing out of whites after washing them again as still grey and now luck with the dylon whitening product.

Take him to his friends party, pop home to see the gf who's in the bath and spend about an hour talking to her then head off to tesco for dinner ingredients and the usual sandwich stuff and quick restock of cereal cupboard.

Cook dinner and instead of my usual ironing night I end up playing on the computer.

What's Been Happening

I was supposed to post this a while back so posting now if it doesn't make sense, tough .

I had a week off work a couple of weeks ago and have another week of next week.

I am using this time to spend with my gf and son so that we can go out and have some family fun instead of me taking my son to France where it is just me him and my mum, also so I am not the only one gallivanting and having fun with my Stag weekends and Reading weekend.

The week I had off work started slowly and picked up pace.

Monday was a lazy morning and letting the gf have a lie in, which meant me and my son having breakfast together and then him watching telly and playing in his room whilst I did some washing and cleaning in the kitchen. Once the gf was up we had lunch (she had showered and got dressed by this time) and we decided to take my son out on his bike. He has had his bike for about 1.5 yeas now and hasn't really been that mad about riding it but would enjoy it when he did. He hasn't had the stabilisers on his bike for a few months but we never got round to practice with him riding without. He has been riding his scooter to school for the past 3/4 months now so I was hoping that maybe this would help with his bike riding.

So we got him dressed up in his elbow pads and helmet, we were going to put knee pads on but would only find one of them, we headed out and it was a bit difficult for him and me as i was holding on to the bike by the saddle and he was trying to pedal and steer at the same time, but would over steer so I would have to then grab hold of him so he didn't fall. We made our way along the path which was a bit of a hazard as it was quite narrow and with tress and bins on either side I had to stand directly behind him which made his wobble worse but did get him to control the handle bars better. After getting to the main road and across the road we made it to the wider footpath where he had a bit more of a run and more room for manoeuvre, trouble with this though was that he started getting up more speed and with me hanging on to him and crouched down my back and legs were starting to hurt, luckily we made it round the corner to the cricket ground where the gf took over and she had it easy. She took the back of his bike and probably went 10 steps and let go and off he went, I know the gf had bribed him that if he just managed to stay upright while we were holding on the he could have a take away of his choice but riding off on his own was just amazing. He did have a problem steering when he was on his own as he was nervous and used the wall to stop himself a couple of times but luckily he had mastered the art of his brakes.

so it only really took him about 30 mins to be able to balance and steer his bike without many problems, my face just lit up when he was cycling on his own, as we were out we met up with the gf's mum so that she could also see him riding his bike without problems.

Tuesday

Started with another lazy morning and loooking out the window to see what the weather was doing, the wind had picked up a bit but not many clouds so we decided to take him to the coastal park, I have mentioned it before but this place was built for all kids big and little, they have separate areas for the age groups which means no accidental squashing or running in to the little ones. Whilst we were there a friend of my son turned up so they played together for about an hour and we left with them so that they would leave the park and not kick up a fuss, as we were heading to the car we could tell he didn't want to go home yet so we took the little man down the beach but as it was windy I had to go down to the sea with him. We stood watching the waves and getting closer and closer to them when suddenly this big wave came in we managed to run back but our feet did get soaked, I then pointed out to my son when a big wave was coming and he would get closer and try and run at the last minute, most of the time it worked but others he would get stuck and his legs would get covered.

Wednesday

This was the first day of our day out trips. For this we went and visited Leeds Castle, I have been once before but I think I was about 6/7 years old at the time and ok the castle hasn't changed much what they have added has.

We get there about 12 o'clock and go and get our tickets, it isn't cheap but the tickets are for a years worth of entry, so we could go every weekend which I think is great value for money. Once we have made it though the gates we take a wander round the grounds and it was much bigger than I remeber but then I think the car parks were closer when I was smaller. We had a good look round the castle and my son had a tick sheet where he had to find items in certain rooms that weren't in obvious spots (this was supplied by the castle and not me), he liked most of it but as kids do did get a little bored near the end of looking around, once out of the castle we took him to the gift shop so he could get himself to remember the trip, hew picked a magnifying glass which pops out of a holder and a pad and pen. The pad and pen is so that he can write little notes and draw pictures/doodles which he seems to love doing.

We took a walk around more of the grounds and found the maze which my boy was very excited about going to, so we let him lead us around the maze trying to find the centre, we did get lost a few times but as the day was nice we didn't mind being out in the open and he did a great job of getting us to the middle. Once in the middle we could see the whole maze and see where people were going wrong, there was a spotter in the middle so if people did get bored/tired/lost he could guide them in. when leaving the maze you go through a grotto, I took some pics and will try to put them up here, which was very well done and as you go through there were different statues and carvings on the walls.

We decided to get something to eat as even though i had brought a packed lunch for our son I had forgotten to do anything for the adults. We found somewhere to eat but the prices were out of this world, £4.50 for a hot dog or 2 for £8 plus chips and a drink it came to £17.20 which was almost half the cost of the tickets, when we go back I will be making sure we do take something to eat for everyone. Trouble of where we were eating though was we were outside and there were so many wasps around and they wouldn't leave us alone, we weren't the only ones though. So when my son was happily eating away a wasp or two would come and have a look and we told him to just be still but then they would try and land on his chips or drink, so we finally gave up and took out food with us, but there must have been a wasp that took a liking to my son as we had walked quite away when we stopped to have a look at the lake, moved a little bit and my sin just stopped still, we were a few steps ahead of him and told him to get a move but he just stood there, the gf went to check on him and saw that a wasp was hovering around his face and he was doing just as we told him, somehow we distracted the wasp and moved on a little bit but the bloody thing came back and this time when my son stood still landed on his hand, you should have seen him shake, I don't know if it was nerves or just being scared, but we could tell it was upsetting him, so I moved closer and waved my hand to get it away then the gf picked him up and carried him away and gave is hands a good wipe down just in case any sauce was left on his hands. I have never seen him so scared in his life but he won't run away and will still stand still if there is a wasp around.

After that we headed back to the car and brought him an ice cream for being brave and headed home, but had to stop at the services because his ice cream had melted so much and we needed to clean him up and throw it away.

Survived the bush

Well I made it back from Swansea in one piece (well the outside, inside I was a broken man). so much beer was drank and little food eaten.

We left home at half 7 to pick up the other four stag party members including the stag himself. The journey wasn't to bad to Wales and we did it in about 5 hours, not including the stops for the pick ups, with two stops, the first was half hour in to get breakfast the next was when we were near our destination for a loo break.

We got to the meeting destination at 1pm where we had a pint whilst waiting for the rest of the stag group, there were 11 of us in total and we stayed in the pub for another 5 pints, so I was already on the way to being drunk. when we left the pub we made our way to the farm to get our sleeping arrangements sorted out, we were supposed to be camping out but the weather forecast wasn't to clever so we were herded in to the barn/sports hall where we sorted out sleeping bags and crash mats to sleep on. We had a couple of beers whilst we waited for our mini bus and also a game of football in the hall with a bit of carnage with people getting hit left right and sometimes centre.

We get on the mini bus and head out to Swansea for a few beer and naked women (No naked women though as Swansea has a ban on Strip/lap dance clubs due to members of the council getting caught with said ladies). We get to the first pub and things for me a going ok, the second pub and things are still going great, third place I don't even remember and that's when it goes down hill, I do remember getting asked to leave the club/bar though for smoking in the toilet, I just remember not knowing the way out and in desperate need for a smoke.

after coming round and sobering up a little and after chatting to a girl on a bench I make my way to Mac Donald's for a coffee and something to eat, hopefully some of the alcohol will be soaked up, whilst eating I phone a couple of people from the stag do with no luck as no one is answering their phone, so I sit down wondering what to do when I get a call from another stag member who is lost, I somehow direct him to Mac D's and have a man cuddle, he then gets a bit teary as he is soon going to be a dad and has a lot of built up worry and stress as to if he is going to be a good dad, what will happen to the relationship and we have a great chat which I think he needed and I hope has him sorted for father hood, I only offered advice that I thought that would help and to let him get things of his chest. So after what seemed like hours we find a taxi and ask them to take us back to the farm, trouble is between us we didn't have a clue as to the name of it and the taxi driver just looked at us, after about 15 mins I remembered roughly where it was and once he got us to a certain part I could direct him, the driver wasn't local and neither were we. We finally got back and found out we weren't the first ones back, so we stay up and chatted till the others arrived and had a few more beers.

Waking on Saturday morning wasn't an easy task at 7am, this wasn't by choice, but because the barn had birds flying through it and the sun came in through the windows. It was like a pack rising for the morning though, we were all in various states of pain and looking rough but most of the group got up roughly the same time, ok this might be due to the stag waking up early and making sure everyone else was up to, how did he do this, well there was the morning beer followed by being dragged across the floor or having the ball kicked at you.

about 9am we had breakfast which was quite poor but we ate it anyway as we had no idea when our next meal would be. Once breakfast was eaten we met our guides for the day and we trudged off to the woods for our bush craft day, there wasn't anything really to report about this, when we arrived after carrying our equipment and settled down we were told how to handle the knives we were given and also warned that there was no beer until we handed in our knives, which I can see was a good thing as having 11 pissed up blokes with knives, something is going ot go wrong. We learnt how to make our own tent pegs, how to light fires with bits of wood and not the lighter that I had in my pocket. they taught us how to gut fish and how to tie our hammocks up so we didn't sleep on the ground. at one point I was in desperate need of the loo and unfortunately it wasn't just to go behind the tree, so I got the spade and tissue bag and headed off in to the woods to do my business, which sounds easy but not with a hangover and also the dexterity of an elephant. I finally found a place out of the way and dug my hole and then realised that unless I took my trousers off it was going to be very difficult to squat, so I looked around for a branch that maybe I could lean on and maybe dig myself another hole, but no such luck. Once I realised it wasn't going to be as easy as i thought, I dropped my trousers and just hopped I was aiming in the right place, luckily i did and headed back to camp with a smile on my face and a weight lifted from my shoulders.

Once we had had something to eat three of us headed to town to resupply the beer front, we weren't sure if we would be leaving the site so hadn't brought any but we then realised that we weren't going anywhere. I did a quick calculation and figured that half a case each would be about right so told everyone that 6 cases were needed and a lot of people disagreed and said four would be enough, I know me and a friend can polish of a crate in one evening so I didn't listen to them and we head of and get the supplies. We do stop for a quick beer to pass the time, when we get back to the farm though we realise that 6 cases between 3 is doable until we see the wheelbarrow and chuck all the beer in there, i would like to say the beer survived the journey but unfortunately we lose about 5 bottles so no great lose.

After dinner we all sat round the camp fire talking rubbish and drinking as much beer as possible, it was all friendly banter and not fights broke out. there was a game though that did start on the Friday, I say game, more of a punishment, you had to drink with your left hand, if you got caught drinking with your right you had to down your drink, this worked well at the pub and and around the camp fire as you could spot people, but when out and about the rules seemed to be forgotten. Whilst round the camp fire one chap couldn't stop drinking with his right hand and kept getting punished, but because it was so frequent someone else got roped in to downing their drink at the same time, the chap they picked though was the biggest of the group and we thought this would dissuade the repeat offender but this tactic didn't work, so then the stag was also on the punishment list and they thought they had cracked but did. The stag and large group member took repeat offender in to the wood to "have a word" with him this worked for a while but the punishments were dished out again.

So after a great evening we woke to it pouring down hard and everyone looking very tired and hungover, we managed to get everything packed up quickly in the morning and headed back to the cars and showers for our return journey.

A piece of advice "don't travel for 6 hours in a car with another 5 hungover men, the noises and smells are unpleasant.

It's been awhile

I know I was going to update about our weekend at Haven but I never got round to it.

I will say that it was a good weekend and I would love to do it again and that my son loved every minute of it, even going to bed as he was so tired.

So what's been happening, not much really, the gf and i have been getting on ok, sex life is sort of there, I could complain but I won't. My mum vcame over at the weekend so we caught up with her in the day just so she could see her grandson then in the evening my brother and I had dinner out with my mum which was nice and we got to spend a couple of hours as a family.

Past few weeks we have been going to school fairs etc, my son has loved all of it, he has also started football training every Saturday morning that I take him to. It is an hour and a half long and he loves it, a few of his friends have been but aren't keen after a couple of sessions but my son keeps asking when he is next going so is loving it. Past three weeks he has one a prise for either being man of the match or just a medal of excellence for the effort and sportsmanship he puts in and each time he went up I would have this big smile on my face.

This weekend I am off to Wales for a stage do, we are going here Shaggy Sheep. We are leaving at 7am and should be there for about 1pm, I am hoping that there won't be any beer in the car as would like to be semi with it when we go out in the evening, but I am sure I will cave to peer pressure if there is beer that early on.

So I am still around and will report back on how the stag do went next week, take it easy.

We all go to Haven

We had a great weekend, 7 of us in total went to Haven, we didn't stay in a caravan but on of the chalets.

The weekend started for me at 12pm Friday when i left work and went home to help sort things out for our weekend away, the gf hadn't started any packing when I got and hadn't done much around the house, so I asked if there was anything I could do, "make a tea" so that's what I did, when we finished that it was a dash to the supermarket to get supplies for the weekend as the two girls had made a list and split what each half was getting, good plan I thought and it worked out well except the gf did add a couple of extras but nothing wrong with this. Once the shopping was done it was back home to unpack the shopping and pack the clothes. I did the washing up whilst the gf packed the suitcase, luckily I double checked what she had packed as she had missed one of my t-shirts.

Once we had picked my son up and packed the car up we just had to wait fir the gf's brother and family to turn up, which they did about 4 and we hit the road. I was the lead driver so took the route I thought would be easiest for us all and also so that I wouldn't lose them, we got close to where we were supposed to be and I took a turning which I thought was the right way, nope, then took another wrong turn and we ended up going back on ourselves, I then took a few more turns an realised that I wasn't completely lost but best try and find driections some how. I phoned up Haven and told them where we were and someone with a good local knowledge told us exactly the right way to go and if I had stuck to the way I should have gone and knew we would have been there about half hour before. I will say though that the signposts were crap, the only one that I saw that resembled anything to do with haven was "Caravan show this way".

Once we found the park and checked in we went to our chalet and unpacked the cars, I couldn't believe how much stuff we had for the weekend, there were toys for the kids, clothes for all of us, beer, food and drinks. After settling in we went for a walk around the site and to the bar/restaurant area as it was a little late and most of us couldn't be bothered cooking. We found the main area and the food and drink prices weren't as bad as I thought they would be and the food was quite nice, it was alike weatherspoons/Yates type pub area and the service was good.

Part two to follow

Just me airing questions to myself

Had a chat/argument with the gf last night, I pushed her on the subject of why she doesn't want to go to my mums for a holiday. Its because she feels she wouldn't be relaxed and also because she thinks my mum belittles her, I haven't been privy to conversations where my mum might have done this but my mum is normally straight to the point/untactful. I don't know whether I should say anything to my mum about this or not.

I was accused even if the words weren't said of being selfish, the reason is because she wants to do more things as a family and I have said that's fine, but she will have to pay for it as I don't have much spare income after bills etc are paid. She then moaned at me because I am going to a stag do in July and the Reading festival in August and I also play football 1-2 times a week. Sometimes football will cost me £5 for the week, sometimes on a Wednesday it will cost me a bit more as I will stay and have a couple of drinks afterwards. My gf doesn't earn much, about £300-£400 a month and with that the actual amount of bills that has to leave her account is about £80-£100. The rest she says she spends on our son, which she does spend quite a bit on, new clothes, school shoes etc but these are not monthly costs and moans that she doesn't have enough to spend on herself, even though most weeks I get home there will be bag from Jane Norman or other clothes shop.

I have said that I would like to do more as a couple and she asks me who is going ot babysit, I didn't dare say her family as I knew she would moan about it and why don't we find one, but she tells me she doesn't want a stranger looking after our son. I tried to say that we could just go out for an hour or so and see how that goes but that fell on deaf ears.

She told me we have to be more of a family before we can be a couple, but I don't see how this works, maybe its my male brain or am I concentrating to much on being a couple. As a couple I feel we have drifted apart and sleeping in different rooms really doesn't help, but sometimes my snoring can be very loud that it is just easier for both of us for me to do this so we get some sleep. I am not massivly over weight, I weigh about 12.5 stone. Our sex life if no existent and we haven't been close for what seems like ages now.

I'm not sure if I am posting this for advice or just comfort but thanks for taking the time to read and sorry if its a bit long.

The Day

The gf's Nan's funeral was held on Friday at 9am, my son and I didn't go as we didn't think it was fair for him to have to stand still and try behave himself and also not understand a word that was being said, which also means I didn't have to go. whilst the funeral was being held me and my son were at the hotel, playing and listening to music and washing. The bathroom we had was massive and is the first that we have had that had speakers in the bathroom to, so with my son in the bath and dancing away and also using the back to slid in the bath, I was in the massive walk-in shower with the music turned up. about half 9 I decided it was time for us to get ready so got him all dressed in his shirt and trousers and myself all suited and booted, I wasn't sure what to do with his hair but decided to spike it, the first thing of the day I got told off for. We got a call at 10am to tell us the funeral was over and that her cousin was on his way to show us the way to the wake.

We get to the wake about half ten where all the family are there and people that I have never met before. I get introduced by the gf's mum to her aunts uncles and cousins, I smile and nod when they speak to me as my German vocabulary is rubbish. My son is passed from great great grandma to great uncles etc . I sneak out to the bar for a quick beer and a smoke whilst everyone is chatting/eating/drinking coffee. when people start leaving I get chatting to my gf's cousin and she tells me that I have free reign on the mini bar tonight as she is on shift in the morning and can exclude it from the bill, result I think, but no. When everyone has left we go over to the cemetery to see the grave and look at all the flowers that have been placed over the casket. My son doesn't really want to go but I make it interesting for him (even if slightly morbid) by showing him some of the great designs of over grave stones, some we old, some weren't, some were just ugly and others just amazing, I wish I had taken a picture of the one that will be going on the gf's grave, as even though it is extravagant and to some maybe ugly I kind of liked it, can I describe it, nope as I wouldn't do it justice.

We go back to nan's flat after visiting the grave and everyone of having a chat and the usual things that go on afterwards. I am trying to have a nap as I am shattered from the drive the day before and with the slightly different times betting up at 7 when my body says it's 6 is hard. At one point my gf gets a telling off from her mum as we are in the lounge and she is trying to get her feet under me so that they will get warm and I am tickling them and causing her to laugh, her mum comes in and says that maybe she should be quiet as you are upsetting your cousin a little bit. I can understand why her mum came in but at the same time people do deal with grief in different ways.

Once all that was dealt with and we had eaten we went back to the hotel as my son was getting tired as we all were, we get back to the hotel and strip off and we are trying to calm my son down a bit as he is over tired and doesn't really want to go to bed, I open up the mini bar and am about to take something from it when the gf pipes up that she is going ot have to pay for and telling me not to bother, I tell her (for the 8th time) that her cousin has told us to use the mini bar, but she still doesn't here me when I go to take a juice out for our son then a beer for me, she keeps telling me she will have to pay for, so I tell her that if we get charged then I will pay for the bloody thing, still this doesn't calm her but I don't care and finish of the beer (there was only three in there). I take a quick look at the spirits but decide not to take the piss with the gf and also with her cousin, I do have some morals. After I have finished my 3rd beer I tell the gf that I am going for a smoke, she moans a bit and asks me to get her a coke if I get myself a beer, I tell her I only have €5 on me and with the hotel being expensive in the bar I probably won't be able to afford both and I tell her to take one from the mini bar. I end up having a couple of cigarettes downstairs and when i'm almost finished my second I get a text asking where I am, I tell her downstairs, she moans that I have been gone for about half an hour, well it seemed like 10 mins to me but who am I to argue, so I tell her that I am finishing my cigarette and will be up in a min. When I get back with out her coke she moans and asks me what I was doing, I told her I was having a smoke and also had a beer, then the fighting starts, I get in to bed and turn my back to her as i don't need shit for having a smoke and a beer after driving 750 in the past week as well as going to work. She keeps moaning at me as i doze off and that was the end of Friday.


Saturday we get up and get ready for breakfast, we all head down and its a bit quiet at breakfast so am guessing that I am still in the dog house, but never mind as I have a nice cooked breakfast and I am happy. The gf and my son leave me to finish and go back to the room, I try to get to the room when I am finished but the lift needs your pass to work so that you can get to your floor, so I text the gf and ask her to send our son down with the card as I haven't had a response eI roll a cigarette and drink my tea, half way through the gf turns up so I stub my smoke and we head back. We finish packing our stuff and making sure that we have got everything and make a couple of passes of the room to double check, does everyone do this, as I always feel I have left something even though I have checked everywhere and even the places I didn't even use. We get to reception to check out and I ask for her cousin who goes though our bill and takes off the parking and the mini bar, just leaving my gf to pay for the room, result. we fill up with petrol and head over to her nan's to pick her brother up and to say bye to everyone, we finally leave about twenty past 11 even though we wanted to be on the road by eleven as I am making the journey back from Germany without someone to follow, even though I have done the journey quite a few times now I had to pay special attention to road signs and directions, there was probably only two times that my mind told me I might be going the wrong way even though I wasn't. We got stuck just outside Antwerp for about an 1.5hrs which was quite a big delay for us, we go to the tunnel and on our train at 17:43 instead of 16:50 not to much of a disaster but still a little gutting as we could have been home by then.

It finally happened

The gf's German nan has been suffering with cancer for a while now, but last Thursday or Friday she had a fall and broke her hip, this in turn put her in to a coma and they operated to fix her hip when she regained conciousness but she then slipped back in to a coma and passed away Saturday 00:43 GMT+1

This weekend I had planned to catch up on my play station games as mine had broken and I had to have it replaced and lost all my saved games, so Friday night at half 9, I had a beer next to me just starting the game when the gf came in and tells me we are going to Germany as they don't think her nan was going to last, so we did a rush panic of throwing clothes in to a holdall, I pick her brother up and get home and her mum and step dad are there waiting so we can all go over together. I get our car all packed up and we head off to the channel tunnel, lucky for us this is only 5 mins away, to a very bemused worker at the tunnel we start heading down the freight lane and this chap is trying to stand in our way, luckily gf's mum works there and tells him what's happening and that it's been cleared, so we get to the terminal so tickets can be sorted out for the journey. Once on our way to the train we have to stop and we see mum getting out of the car and in tears, its the news we didn't really want, gf's nan, her mum's mum has just died. I know this is going to sound harsh but we should have turned around there and then, me the gf, her brother and our son, and gone home, I was unsure why we were going in the first place as the outlook never looked promising. We get on the train anyway and get to France at 01:00 gmt+1 and make our journey to Germany.

We get to the gf's nan's house at 05:00 GMT+1, as that was where we were going to be staying and her mum can't open the door and I know it is because she is shaking even though I can't see her and I realise it is a bad idea us staying her, to me it just doesn't feel right but we need to sleep, I have been up for nearly 24hrs now and we are all tired. We get our son ready for bed but he doesn't want to sleep in the bed and we find out the next day it was because the dolls scared him, so we go and find a hotel and leave the gf's mum and step dad at the flat. We are lucky that there is a hotel at the top of the road and we walk in and they are just preparing for the breakfast sitting and I head to the reception and ask for a room, I think that my face showed I was tired and they gave us a room there and then, no waiting till 2pm to check in and they only charged us for one night. We finally get to bed about 05:30 GMT+1, I wake at 09:00 but I think it is my body telling me that they are stopping breakfast soon and I just fall back asleep, we end up waking about 11:30.

Once woken and showered we make the small walk down to the gf's nan's flat and see the rest of the family and get some breakfast, we also decide what to do for the day, as it is nice and sunny we take our son to the park, not a little park like I am used to, this one was massive and was on the bank of the River Rhine, there are people everywhere, sun bathing playing football, badminton, volleyball and Frisbee, they are people on skates, on bikes and skateboards. People were sheltering under trees from the sun people with bbq's on the go and everyone just seems to be having fun and relaxing. We take my son to the play area where his uncle takes him on the slides, see-saw and monkey bars. We only stay for an hour or so as we didn't know it was going to be so hot and we didn't bring any sun tan lotion and we head back home. On the way there and back we are using the path but it is very wide and i had never noticed before why, well this day I did there were people cycling on it, but loads of people and it seemed as if we were in the wrong and i think we were, as I think the cyclists had the right of way, so you had me chasing my son up the road with his ben 10 backpack on, as he was on his scooter trying to get him close to the side as possible so he wouldn't cause an accident whilst trying not to get run over myself.

We cam home Sunday and luckily it only took 4hrs to get home so wasn't bad. Yesterday we had a bbq and invited the gf's step dad over as he was on his own, the trouble is it started raining but me being me stayed out and got the food cooked whilst I got soaked and listening to the thunder and watching the lightning. The funeral has been arranged for Friday, so we will be going over Thursday and coming back Saturday, bang goes another weekend but at least I can be there for my gf.

Hope everyone else had a good bank holiday

swollen Tongue

On Monday after picking the gf up she mentioned that she asked the nurse a lot of questions about tonsillitis and the antibiotic's she would be on. So i was listening and she was told that it isn't contagious, if she had left it any longer she would have ended up being quite ill, the gf then went on to tell me she asked if it would effect her contraceptive injection, I just had to bite my tongue as 1 there is no way she would be wanting/feeling up for sex, 2 When we have sex anyway we still use a condom. I just laughed to myself without giving anything away as I know she would have taken it wrong.

she is on the road to recovery and was a bit better yesterday so the antibiotics are working at last, I still think that she shouldn't be at work this afternoon, but she won't listen to me, I think she wll be fully recovered in about 7 days, but she will push herslef and say she is better over the weekend I bet.

This morning i was making mine and my sons lunch when I heard footsteps on the landing to the toilet then back again, it sounded like my son so i shouted up to him and he said he wasn't ready for breakfast yet, I just thought he was going to play in his room, but I didn't hear a sound, so I went upstairs and found he had got back in to bed. He look ed so cute al snuggled back up and i felt bad that I had to get him up for breakfast, but we had a little bit of fun trying, with him pretending he's still sleep and then trying to catch his feet when he pressed them against the side of the tent part of his bed.

RANT

When I have come home early to pick our son up from school and can't log in to my works network because our internet is down and I go and make dinner, please don't point out to me that I have given you green beans two days in a row. I don't care, it is a vegetable and will help you. I made shepherds pie, something filling and easy for you to eat, please just try and enjoy it, tonight I will not give you green beans.

Rant Over

Knackered

I feel drained and just want to sleep but things need to be done at work and at home.

The gf has come down with tonsillitis, it stared Friday as bit of a sore throat, Saturday was a bit worse and Sunday she couldn't move off the sofa. after checking her throat and not being a doctor I thought it was tonsillitis and advised her to go to the doctors Monday morning, she didn't as she said she felt better, but by 12 she was at the walk in centre getting herself checked. She is now on medication but as she didn't get them till about half 3 yesterday they aren't really going to kick in till Wednesday. I am trying to be sympathetic to her but it doesn't come easy and I just get on with things. So yesterday I got in late to work as i took my son to school, then picked him up then worked from home, whilst doing this I was attending to his needs and hers and trying to work and do dinner. Whilst dinner was on i was nipping to the computer to make sure no calls had come in and no emails needed answering and then making sure they both had a drink and were comfortable etc.
After dinner I did a little more work and had to nip to the kitchen or loo and the gf asked my why I had locked the laptop, I'm not sure if she wanted to use it or not or trying to spy on me and I just told her it's a force of habit as its my work PC. Once I had tied up the loose ends I took my son to bed after brushing his teeth and read him a bed time story, I then went back downstairs and was going to make our pack lunch but ran out of steam, so I sat on the sofa next to her after maing tea and relaxed for a bit and sat through the soaps, I now know why most Monday evenings I got to my room and play the pc or watch a dvd. I only made it half way through the second corrie before I decided that I needed to make the lunch otherwise I would end up a dribbling mess as my life was sucked from me by corrie, death by corrie, I wonder if that has ever been put on a death certificate or coroners report?, I made the lunches and made the tea again and flaked in front of the telly for two hours whilst i watched Heroes.
This morning the gf still wasn't feeling good so took our son to school again and I might still have to pick him up but i will see as waiting for a text at 2pm. With all this my son was ill on Sunday, not sure what it was but between 11am and 5pm he couldn't keep any food and very little water down, so that meant I was back and forth cleaning out the sick bowl and getting water in to him on top of getting up early so that I could get to the butchers first thing in the morning.
So today I am finding it a bit of a struggle and this morning was hard getting up, but tomorrow morning I will get up at the time I wanted so I can do a couple of extra bits before I propbably take my son to school.

I know how the gf is feeling as i had tonillitis about 10yrs ago and it is not a nice thing and I try not to get annoyed with the constant running around but sometimes I just want to shout, so I guess this is what I am doing right now, so sorry for my rant nothing else to see here.

Well

Things had been going well until Wednesday when I didn't get in till after 10 after playing then watching football and having a few beers with the lads. I got the usual abuse text messages and I'm chucking you out one, which after a beer meant I started planning in my head what I would do, move to my mates house, rent a room from him for a while and save a bucket load of money. Of course this hasn't happened and when on Thursday I asked for her to empty the suitcases so I could pack my stuff, I got the text saying she will do it when she has time, fine by me, but then I get another text telling me her work colleague and friend, 51yrs old has died, it was on the cards but doesn't make it any better. Her friend was suffering from cancer and had been for radiotherapy etc. and seemed to be on the mend but as usual these cases the cancer fought back harder and the cancer went terminal very quickly, she went in to a hospice about a week ago I think and died the Thursday, so I was trying to consul the gf as I think it hit home that her nan proberbly doesn't have much time left either and she is also suffering from cancer. Friday she wasn't really in a state to do anything so I through a sickie and stayed home with her as well as taking my son to school and just tryingto be there for her, by the afternoon she seemed better and said she was feeling better, I hope it is true and not just a front.

The gf found out Saturday that the funeral is on Tuesday 12th, in the afternoon, we weren't sure if she would be able to go as I have work and our son finishes school at 3pm and the funeral is at 2pm but her mum will be picking him up and she has someone to cover her shift.

This weekend with me taking Friday off made it a four day weekend which was great, Friday night we had a bbq for the three of us, Saturday I took my son swimming and afterwards he played with his mate for the rest of the afternoon, Sunday we toook them to the park were we had a kick about with the football, played some baseball and tennis which we all enjoyed and Monday we took him to the coastal park which the local council built about 3yrs ago now and gets very busy after he was tired from playing there we took him down the beach and checked out the rock pools, we spotted a shrimp a couple of little crabs and a medium sized crab, we wouldn't tell what it was first as it legs just looked like seaweed, but then I spotted its red eyes and we could then see the shape of it properly, I was ready to put the rock back though as it looked freaky. This was it, a Velvet swimming Crab

Manipulation

Things have been going well between the gf and me but before Easter I thought that the physical side of things was picking up to, but I think she was just using me to get what she wanted.

what was happening was the gf would get me in to bed with her in the morning and start cuddling and being more physical with me than she has been, but when I tried anything she would stop me unless I would take my son to school for her in the morning, which riled me a bit as I have my own job to go to and even though they do work flexi time I prefer to be there before 9am. If I did then relent she would say we don't have enough time to do anything or wait till tonight and we will have some fun, well this didn't happen and only on one occasion before i took our son to school did we have sex. I have to say it did feel like the old times when we had it and was a refreshing feel compared to the times when she wasn't really interested and was jusy laying there.

Whilst my son was off on Easter holidays though not once did we cuddle up like that in the morning or the evening, even if I suggested it or even if I massaged her. I gave her her own space to suggest stuff and tried to be hands off which I did quite well but the urges kept coming but I didn't pressure as much as I have done in the past and when I did massage and was told "no funny stuff" I didn't try anything then so thought I was on good behaviour.

Oh well, we shall see what the week brings

What's been happening

I was going to add what happened after Metallica in the post but ran out of time so will update from there will what happened over the Easter.

Once home I sort my stuff out and sort my sons breakfast out as he was still in bed with his mum when I got in. I know that I was going to see my mum but when in the day I had no idea and whether the gf would be coming or not, I had wanted to meet my mum for dinner with the family but the place we were going to eat at doesn't open till 6pm and with my son having school the next morning we didn't think it would be fair on him in keeping him up, so I told my mum this in an email and we just said we would meet up. With my son fuelled I went and saw the gf in bed and she mentions that her brother has asked with we want to go to the lambing day at my old school, I say why not and she starts something about meeting my mum and i tell her my mum will see us when we are free, we are not waiting for her, she pulls a face and says my mum always messes us about when we meet up and I tell her to stop whinging and we will see my mum afterwards. Whilst getting ready to go to the lambing day I get a call from my mum an when the gf asks who's on the phone she just rolls her eyes, I just through her a look and talk to my mum, she was just letting me know where plans for the day and what time we wanted to meet, so I tell her our plans and we arrange a time and thats that, the gf tries to start a fight about it but just usher us out of the house.

We get on the road and are following the gf's brother to where we were going but they go straight past the turning so I turn off knowing where I am supposed to be going and we park up and wait for them to turn up. When they arrive we walk down to the farm and have a wondered around, we see the new born lambs an ewe that looks very close to giving birth but probably had a couple of hours left to go. we had a mini picnic in one of the fields and the weather wasn't that warm so we ate as quickly as we could and as i had seen a sign to the spiders I thought we should go and visit as they normally have to keep it quite warm for them to survive. So three of us went up to have a look and not only where there spiders but also snakes and lizards. I thought my son might not have a wonder round once we there thinking he would be to scared, how wrong was I, we looked at the lizards, he made me pick him up so he could have a closer look at the spiders and he then saw a snake and wasn't phased at all, the snake was being handled by someone that worked on the farm, he went up to it and was asked if he wanted to touch it which he did and then he posed for a photo with the snake around him, I was so proud of him and he just had this massive smile over his face.

Once the fun of the farm was over we went and saw my mum, she is staying in the village that she used to live, we had to visit her office first as they wanted me to look over some pcs and if there was anything that I wanted, after looking I figured most of the stuff was older than what I had and mine is old, but I thanked my mum for thinking of me. We then headed off to the local pub, which isn't child friendly I found out but they did accommodate us very well even with my son spilling his drink. We sat and chatted for a little while then had a look around the beer garden but once again it was to cold to be out there to long so we headed back in side where my mum gave me a bag which was some clothes for my son, she is always spoiling him. We said our goodbyes and headed off home where we had dinner and sorted my son out ready for bed.

Metallica Day

I thought I had posted this but forgot to check so here it is

Saturday I went to the O2 Arena to see Metallica, but there isn't where the fun started, that was Thursday night. I was getting ready for bed when the girlfriend starts asking questions as to why I am staying up there over night, why and I going so early, so I had to think quick, my answers for leaving early were so that we could get a parking spot at the hotel and also miss the Marches that might be going on, so that one was covered, about staying over night, mmm because I will be having a couple of beers and don't want to be driving back even if i have only had a couple, she just looked at me. The real reasons were because I was meeting friend there and we like a drink at a concert and there is no way I would be in a fit state to properly walk let alone drive.

Saturday arrives and i am doing bits and pieces I said I would do before I left, so that meant getting me and my son to the hairdressers, washing up, mopping the floor (didn't get round to doing this) and some little odds and sods. We get to 12pm and it is time to leave, so I pick up the gf's brother and we head to town to drop off gf and son. We are finally one the road, well to meet my brother to pick something extra up for the concert, after waiting a round for a while we get back on the road and head off to the hotel. the weather was appalling to drive in, high winds and loads of rain and as I was going a different way than usual I missed the turn off that I needed so made a 20 mile detour, we got in to london and missed the next turning that I wanted to just carried on and luckily found another way to where we were staying without much trouble.

Once we were checked in and special cigs rolled we headed off to the DLR, we were almost there when I realised that I had left the concert tickets back at the hotel, so we headed back got them and tried again, my plan was to be at the arena for about half 3, the time we got back to the station was half 4, I then rang my friend that we were meeting and he told me that the jubilee line was out of action so we had to change at canning town, no problem, except there was a replacement bus service on and the buses were packed, so we missed one bus as we couldn't get on and waited about 10 mins for the next. We finally made it just after 5 and met in the pub in the arena and started drinking. After a few pints we were waiting for my friend to drink up and we thought he still had another pint to drink, so we poured some in to his glass he was nursing and drank some but this was a mistake, as it wasn't his beer, it was actually a pint of cider and I almost choked as I tasted the difference straight away and the other mate made me laugh at the same time that I thought I was going to spit it everywhere. The O2 arena is big and there seems to be alot to do regarding eating and drinking, so we wandered round and found somewhere to eat, there was a queue outside but was going quite quickly. So we went in to Nandos had half a chicken each and felt quite stuffed afterwards then on to the O2 bar for a couple before the show started.

Once the show had started I was feeling slightly worse for wear so decided to sit down after the 3rd or 4th song, I was then woken up by my friend, I had fallen asleep through a couple of songs, but the sleep did me good, as I was getting up to see what was being played I looked over and noticed that I wasn't the only one that had a nap as the other friend was doing a nodding dog impression and when he woke up spilt his pint all down his trousers looking as if he had pissed himself. The show itself was very good and the music was always played with no mistakes and the crowed were going wild like they normally do.

The play list was

That Was Just Your Life

The End of the Line

Harvester Of Sorrow

And Justice for All

One

Broken, Beat & Scarred

My Apocalypse

Sad But True

The Outlaw Torn

The Judas Kiss

The Day That Never Comes

Master Of Puppets

Fight Fire With Fire

Nothing Else Matters

Enter Sandman

Overkill

Hit The Lights

Seek and Destroy

Once the concert was over we headed back to the bar for a few more drinks then tried to find our way back to the hotel. We ended up going back to my friends hotel and we were going to get something to eat but after so much talking we missed the delivery space and there was nowhere near the hotel that did food, so we had a smoke in the hotel after I learnt a new trick, if your in a non smoking hotel all you need is a bag and a sock and you can cover the smoke alarm, only good for probably a couple of cigs but enough. as I was knackered me and the gf's brother went back to our hotel, stuck the TV on and realised it was now 3am/2am old time. I feel asleep with the TV on and woke to the grand prix being on, so watch that then had breakfast. We managed to leave about 10 and was home for 11, where all I wanted to do was go to sleep, but no lots of other things were planned.

Man day

Friday was a father and son day as the gf went to London to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert, I was asked to go but not really my cup of tea so she went with her mum instead. So Man day started with me leaving work early as I had booked a half day so that I could get home in time to pick my son up from school. when I got in i made home made burgers and played my games console till it was time to drop the gf off to her mums, with that out of the way I headed to the supermarket to pick up the dinner bits, so burger rolls, chips, cheese mushrooms, garlic and milk. I pick my son up and we get home and instead of the usual stuff we head out side and play some swing ball and I watch him playing on his scooter, he then asks if he can go round to his friends house, so I tell him to get changed because he is still in his school uniform and pretend that he just has to do it and he looks a bit down, but when he has done that I tell him to get his shoes and he starts to get excited but I tell him we are off to the shops and he grudgingly puts his coat on, but when we get outside I send him to his friends and a smile beams from him. whilst he's out playing I sorting the kitchen out and getting the dinner ready, about an hour later I go round and get him and cook dinner, where he plays in the garden for awhile then sots down to watch telly. When i bring the dinner he is very happy that he has got home made burgers and digs straight in, the burger is almost as big as him but he doesn't stop.
After dinner we play around for a bit and he tells me he has made a Mother's Day card, so we get it out and have a look at it and he asks where the stick on the front is, he has made a flower our of tissue paper and the stalk had fallen off, so we check his school bag with no luck, I tell him I will get a stick from outside and glue it on for him. I am getting him ready for bed and he mentions the Golden compass and that he would like to watch it one day, I tell him we have it and try to get it working but my pc is playing silly buggers so I have to tell him we can't, but what about underdog, he looks at me deep in thought then says OK. So we settle down and it is just past his bedtime but we have been having such fun I thought I would keep him up a bit later than normal. I get Underdog working and my son loves it, I have to explain a little of it to him, but then he carries on watching it and is laughing out loud to the funny bits and so am I, yes i do have a kids sense of humour. There was about half hour of the film left and it was coming up to half eight and I though I might as well let him finish watching it and when it was finished he was as good as gold. He went upstairs without a fight, I had a feeling this might happen as he had bene yawning and rubbing his eyes through the last half hour, we brushed his teeth and in to bed he went. I told him that he had to have a lie in as he went to bed so late and he said he would try.
Once he was in bed I went back on to the games console and had a break every so often to have a smoke and get a cup of tea, my eyes started hurting for a while so I watched a bit of TV and around 11 started getting texts from the gf telling me she was on the train home etc, i received one saying that they were going to be late as they were stuck at a station because at another station someone tried to commit suicide. About 20 mins later I was told there were on their way, I presume that the suicide attempt wasn't successful as it wasn't that long a delay. I was also asked if I could take her mum home when they got back which I said yes to.

Saturday morning i got up quite early as my son woke me up asking if he could watch TV, so I got dressed and got to the butchers to get a nice bit of beef for Sunday dinner. As the gf was still in bed i also cleared some junk from the garden and took it to the tip, when i got back the gf had just got up and was having a bath. We then did a bit of shopping and when we got home played more in the garden and also tried to see if my son would ride his bike with no stabilisers, he tried bless him, but his centre of balance seems to be so off, but will be trying again this weekend.

Sunday I got up about 9ish and headed down to the market to get some meat for the freezer, the gf was still asleep when I got back so did some washing up and also made her a cup of tea seeing as it was mothers day. when the gf came down our son gave her her card that he had made at school and also a keyring that he had made for him from school, it cost £1.99 and had a picture of him one side and I love Mummy the other, it was one of the other classes that did it for a enterprise week which they were doing for part of their curriculum. We then popped out to do a bit of shopping and when we got back I cooked us a roast which went down very well and for afters was chocolate pudding for son and gf and syrup pudding for me, I think we were all very stuffed, but a very enjoyable weekend had by all.

Still here

I haven't been writing anything in the blog as nothing has really been going on, I started a story that I thought I might share, but not sure yet, it is going on the rude lines. I also started another post about being in the doghouse, but just turns out that we were just both having an off few days with each other and last night/when i got home yesterday things were good between us and we had a good meal out with friends as it was someone's birthday.

I Won

After all my comments I got one that made her laugh.

Thank you Trixie
x

Going Down With The Ship

Last week was half term and also my son's birthday, which was the only day I took off last week, so this weekend I thought about doing some things with him that he would enjoy, but it didn't really happen, Saturday we were going to take him to the park to play with his new radio controlled plane, unfortunately not one of the professional ones but one made from foam. Instead we went to town and did a quick run in and out so that he could by himself a Ben 10 duvet set and to pick a couple of bits up from the supermarket, we got home and by the time we were ready to go anywhere the temperature had dropped, so we stayed in and played the Wii for a little bit, I then cooked dinner which seemed to take hours.
On Sunday I went down to the market to stock up on chicken and mince again, but for a change I was on time and went to where the van is normally parked and it was there, so I then spent half hour wandering round town which was closed as it was half 8 and looking at the new shop, the closed shops and the ones I hadn't seen before. I found out there is a guitar shop which I didn't know existed and though we only had one where we are. I spotted the adult underwear shop also not knowing we had one, then I came across Woolworth's, ours has now been cleared out and there is so much floor space, I can't think if what will replace it, hopefully it won't be a pound shop as we already have two of those in town.
At 9am Costa coffee opened, I wish it had been an independent cafe bit none were, so I went in and ordered a large latte and this thing was massive, it had a handle on both sides and you needed them it was that heavy, I finished it off after taking about 15 mins and heaed back to where the van was, I got chatting the the belly buster server and he said that the butcher was on his way and that he would put a tea on his account for me, after about 10 mins the butcher arrived and I got what I needed and headed home an hour later than planned.
When I got in my son came rushing downstairs as he was hungry because he wanted to have breakfast with me and not by himself, so I put the meat in the kitchen and have a quick breakfast with him before I start wrapping the meat for the freezer.
The gf gets up and dressed we head over to the park with my son's bike and plane and also my radio controlled boat to have a go on the pond, well the plane doesn't fly, I think it was to windy or not enough thermals and my son can't get his bike across the park to ride as it was to hard going for him so we head down to the pond. The boat I have was brought for me a for a Christmas present about 2 yrs ago by the gf and i loved it, but have only used it twice (including yesterday) so I am going to take it out more often. We get to the pond and switch the boat on and the controller and all is working fine, I then give my son the controls and things start to get messy, he wasn't doing to badly but then hit the boat straight in to the side of the pond so there is no longer a point on the bow of the boat, I let him carry on after checking the damage out and this time he sideswipes the boat and it starts to list to one side, I think it has now got a whole in the side, but luckily it is where the battery has come loose and is on one side, so I replace this and put it back in the water but it is only going round in circles, I take it out once again and find that the properller is jammed by a a bit of plastic and a screw, where it has come from I don't know, I remove that and the boat works fine again. The boat is zooming across the water and my son is controlling it well when both me and his mum shout no not there, he lets go of the forward controller to late and the boat ends up in the middle of the pond stuck in the reeds, my son is now upset as we have told him off for not listening and me and the gf are a bit angry, we calm down and after trying to get the boat out of the reeds by trying to force it through the reeds without any joy, so there was only one option, someone had to wade out to get it, it couldn't be my son as even though it isn't that deep, if he fell over with his clothes on he would struggle to get back up and also the water was extremely cold, the gf's excuse was that she wasn't going to go in because she only has one pair of trainers and there was no way she was going in without something on her feet, so who did that leave, yup me. I go and get the car and park it closer to the pond so that I don't have to walk to far dripping wet, when I get back to the pond, hoping the boat has somehow got freed, I see it is actually deeper in the reeds and i am definitely going to have to wade in and get it. I give the gf all of the stuff in my pockets so none of it gets ruined as I would probably fall in if it was on me and I get to the edge of the pond and am starting to lower my feet in when the gf thinks it would be funny just to push me to get it over and done with, If I could have used the F word i would have done, so I lower my feet in and feel the cold dirty water filling my shoes, then my socks soaking up even more, then my legs are going in slowly and my jeans seem to attract water at a stupid rate, I stand up and the water comes to just above my knee and I start wadding out, for some reason I'm nervous, I'm not sure why, maybe I thought Jaws was going to come and get me or maybe i was going to find that there was very large hole and I was going to disappear down it, I get closer and closer to the boat and the water is getting a bit higher, luckily though it stays below testicle level and i get the boat and turn round and get back ashore. When I am back we go to the car where I strip off my jeans and put my shoes back on and drive home, the gf says that she will open the door to the house so I can run straight in and I tell her not to worry and I don't car what the neighbours think, so we park up almost outside the house and I grab what I can from the boot and head on in and go for a shower to warm up.

The weekend evening's have seen me spending a lot of my time on my x-box playing Call of Duty 5, its a great game and some of the snags that were in the past games have been taken care of, Friday I was on it till 2am, Saturday was about 12/1 am and Last night was about 12.30 am, this was after having a a few beers whilst ironing and catching up on some TV, I played on line with the gf's brother and was shockingly bad, I don't know whether it was the beer or the way that I am used to playing the game but I would just charge right in guns blazing and find myself dead and starting again, I have said to myself to not play it tonight, to tired anyway, and that the earlist I am going to play is Wednesday night and spend some time with the gf in the evening.

Another Birthday Another Year Older

Yesterday was my son's 5th Birthday, how the time has gone.

I remember hearing how I was going to be a dad and the inner turmoil that I felt at the time, then thinking that its going to be a different life now, watching when he was born and being the first to see what sex he was once he was born, his first birthday when he was a bundle of joy and didn't know what was really happening, his second birthday when the gf had made him a birthday cake that wasn't really edible and my son just sat in a high chair and chomped away at it with it covering his face, third birthday was his first proper party with all his friends dressed as pirates, forth was held at the sports centre on the ski slope with all of his friends sledging. This year we had his part at the sports centre again and there was 13 lovely children all doing as they were told, ok maybe not and I probably dreamt this, all of his friends played well but when it came to the games some got bored or wouldn't listen which makes it hard work for you, but we got there in the end. He was thoroughly spoilt by us, his friends and his nan and granddad, that last night when they had left he just didn't know what to do, so we sat him down to relax got a takeaway and then read him a couple of bedtime stories, he was out like a light by 8pm.

Busy times

I have been having a look at what I am getting to be up to through out the year, so far I have three things definitely happening and a maybe.

First
Going to see Metallica live at the O2 Arena in March. I have seen Metallica live 3 times now, the first was in 1996 when I saw them at Earls court and they played their loaded Tour, it was a great set and even though they played some of the songs from the loaded album (not all that great) they still played their good stuff and it was great to see them live. Second time I saw them was July 07 at Wembley stadium, it was the day after Earth day or something but I wasn't interested in that and neither were they, they had played a couple of songs there but they really wanted this night to go well, they again played a great concert, the third time was at Reading 2008 and even though it wasn't their longest gig it did rock.

Second
A frined at football is getting married some time this year and I have been invited to his stag do (two in 2 years not bad going). this time we aren't going to Scotland but to Wales, not fancy hotels or hostels for us though, we will be camping out under the stars, it is a Survival Bushcraft weekend, this should be a great laugh and if we don't like it much we can always get a cab in to town and party the night away.

Third
The Reading Festival, not much has to be said on this except it starts Thursday (well for me) and ends Monday, alot happens in between that sometime I remember and sometimes I don't but i do know it is always great fun.

The maybe is me going to see my mum in France with my son and hopefully gf but she doesn't like flying and also doesn't think of it as a holiday, as we are staying with family, well I will try and get it out of her if she is going to come or not and the sooner I know the sooner I can get it booked and look forward to it.

Time for a Visit

This weekend me an my son went and visited my Aunt, the last time I saw her was back in 2007 at my Gran's funeral, the last time my son saw her must have been Christmas 2006. I have kept trying to make plans with my aunt be either she has been busy or I have or I just never got round to it. So we left Saturday after dropping the gf of to work, stop one was for some petrol as I didn't fancy being stranded anywhere, so we set off and it had snowed the night before so the hills surrounding us were covered and looked great (yes should have put the camera in the car). the motorway part of the journey was fine and clear of snow and ice, but looking around you had a feeling that it couldn't last as there was snow all around most of the way to my Aunts. We came off the motorway and was following the road when we came to a round about that wasn't there the last time I was, I vaguely remember it in the building process, so i got a bit confused as to where I was supposed to be going, so I pulled off one way and went over the bridge that I know I'm supposed to go under, so i am looking at a way to get off when my son pipes up in the back, "Dad I am feeling sick", not good I think so I find a place to pull in and get him out of the car and stand back as his crisps and juice reappear. Once he is sorted and back in the car I turn around and we get to the right road again and carry on with our journey, we have to stop a couple of times as he thinks he is going to be sick again but isn't, we finally get to my aunts and I get to have a cigarette as I won't smoke in the car if my son is in there to.

My Auntie is a lovely lady and when I was little she would look after me lots, I would spend 1-3 weeks with her during my Summer hols, other holidays she would have me stay as long as possible and was always pooping down at weekends to see me, she has one rule though, "I am Auntie and you only listen to me", which is great as when ever she was about or I was staying at hers she just let me get on with things and mum and dad didn't really have a choice in the matter and this is what it was like when my son and I were at her house. We got in the front door and first thing was hugs then for a cuppa, she asked my son if he wanted anything but as he was shy didn't say much, so she offered him some toast, straight away he said yes, the when that was gone, biscuits were offered and so were sweets, I looked at him and said maybe later, but my aunt said, "don't worry your at your aunties now and you can do what you want" so I maybe her favourite nephew but I have no authority when I am at hers, well when it comes to spoiling my son anyway. Whilst my son was settling in we put the TV on and he started watching transformers and my aunt took her dog for a walk.

We went to the local city farm once my Auntie was back from walking the dog and my son got to see the turkeys, geese, chickens, lamas and horses, we also saw the sheep and cows but he wasn't that interested in them. we spent about half hour there and wandered of to the the market, but my son was hungry and we went in to KFC, I didn't really want to but as before auntie was there saying do what you like, so I got him a kids meal and I had a coffee and some popcorn chicken. All warmed up we went to the market which had also changed since I was last there, before the stalls used to be in side the building, but they have now made little shop fronts instead, it looks nice but I preferred the old set-up. I took my son for a little walk along the river and showed him the water wheel that is still there.

after our little walk we went back to my aunties to warm up and have a cuppa and relax before going out for diner, whilst waiting around we put the football on for a while and played with his dinosaurs, whilst playing my aunties boyfriend turned up and we met and chatted about things, he is in to Pink Floyd and supports Liverpool, so not a bad bloke in my book, he then went and got his guitar out and started playing for a bit and my son wanted to join in, I thought this might be a problem but my he passed the guitar to my son and showed him what to do, because the guitar was a bit big my aunt gave my son her mandolin to play which as the size was quite good for him he did quite well and even learnt how to play a G chord, I don't know where he gets his musical abilities as I have none. we got in to a bit of a jamming session (well make a noise and try and make a tune) but my son really seemed to be able to pick out a tune and go with it, not on the mandolin but with the tambourine and claves.

After band practice we went to a local Chinese buffet place, when I was told where it was i thought it was round the back as we were actually going to a pub, little did i know that the pub is the restaurant. We had a good meal and my son was getting a bit tired by the end of it so he played the DS whilst I passed food to his mouth just so he would eat something. We got home about half 9 and I put my son straight to bed and he was out like a light, even though my aunt put the telly on for him to watch, I went to be after a couple of drinks and watching match of the day.

Yesterday we got back about half one which wasn't to bad going as it only took an hour to get back from my aunts and this time there were no sickness stops . Arriving home i spotted the the gf in her PJ's and was about to shout her when she sat down and put the blanket over herself, so I sent our son to knock on the window and surprise her, she came to the door and let him in whilst i struggled to bring all of our stuff in. we relaxed for a while, then i sorted out some of the washing that had been dumped on my bed as she had had guests round the night before. Once there was some sanity with it I went and cooked dinner for us which we all eat and my son almost finished even though he was shattered. after putting him to bed the gf had a bath and I had a shower just to freshen up and also to hope that my luck was in, we sat and watch supernatural then a couple of family guy's whilst I was massaging her feet and legs, each time moving further and further up and she dragged me upstairs and that is where I shall leave it ;o)

Um ah I don't know what to say

When I said it was going to be a quiet week, I was wrong.

I had a phone call from my brother and he asked me to phone him back, usually this means he wants some money or something, what happened actually left me speechless for a minute.

Bro "My ex is pregnant"
Me ".............."
me "What, tell me that again"
bro "she's pregnant"
me "Are you sure its yours"
bro "yeah I'm sure"

So I started asking other questions like how old she is and how far gone she is etc, so which, she is 20yrs old, 8 weeks gone and doesn't know what she wants to do.

I have been in this position twice myself, once with an ex and once with the current gf. The first time I didn't really talk to anyone about it and we went the abortion route, this is a very hard route to go down and if I had know this at the time it might never have happened as when you come out the other side everything changes. The second time I don't even think abortion crossed my mind, I'm not sure if that was due to the past experience or whether I did want to be a dad but this time I had someone to talk to and I did.

When my brother told me I told him that there are three options, abortion, becoming a dad and adoption.

Abortion, my brother told me he doesn't believe in this, which is fine, but I reminded him that this is an option. I told him it won't be easy for either of them and will be an emotional roller-coaster.

Becoming a dad, I think my brother would make a great dad but at the moment he isn't in the right place to be one. He's 22 and hasn't really settled in to any job and doesn't know what to do with his life, I think he is staying a a friends house but seems to get moved long to the next friend after a couple of months as he doesn't pull he weight or owes them money for rent etc. I guess what I am trying to say is that he is still young and still has his life to live. If the ex and him got back together I don't think it would be for them it would be for the baby and I don't believe that would be good for any of them.

Adoption, this I have no idea about but I don't think it will be an easy decision.

Last I told my brother to go and have a few beers and just sit and think about what he wants and what decision he wants to take and that he will have to sit down with the ex and together they will have to talk, hard yes but is the only way. I have told him that I am at the end of the phone whenever he needs me.

Xin nian kuai le (Happy New Year)

Tonight we will be having a Chinese takeaway, OK so not your traditional Chinese new year but a great excuse not to cook and have some enjoyable food.

Not much happened during the week, I took Wednesday off work to spend the day in bed with the gf just cuddling, but even then I slept most of it. I played football Wednesday night and had a good game, stopped for a couple of beers after and nothing was said when I got it. Friday night a friend of mine came round and we had a few beers and caught up and watch some films, I have to admit, the last one I did fall asleep through, so will need to watch it again, we finished about half 3 so off to bed I went. Saturday we went to the in-laws to see my son's Aunt and uncle, she is 18/19 and he is 15, they both like playing with my son and catching up on what he has been doing which is nice and means the gf and I get an hour or so to chat to her mum and things. The gf's brother came round with his gf and her two kids, about 6ish we decided it was time to get some food, so of to the local kebab house, we took it all back to ours and felt quite stuffed afterwards, the kids went and played in my sons room whist we played the Wii. The gf brought herself Carnival:Funfair Games, its a great game, I didn't play it to begin with and was just having fun watching them, I then joined in and won about 5 games in a row and was accused of playing it before, which I hadn't but had seen my friend play it on his birthday. During the night we put the girls and my son to bed under his bed as a sort of camp out which they loved and they all seemed to go to sleep quite quickly which meant our Wii night carried on till about half 11 that night.

Sunday I cooked a roast dinner again as I find it enjoyable to cook a great meal without much fuss, making the batter for the Yorkshire pudding is a bit messy but when you get to eat them fresh it makes it all worth while and I have got my roast pots down to a T now and they always come out crispy. If I make a roast this weekend I'll try and take a pic and make you all jealous. Nothing much planned for this week apart from meeting my dad for a beer Wednesday but if anything happens I will let you know.

Technology is great

The past week and this weekend didn't see me doing much.

I got home Friday and as I had some bits to do in my room thought I would put the PC on and listen to some music, everything booted ok, but when i went to access my external hardrive it seemed to take ages, then when I clicked it nothing happened, if I could look in the mirror at the point I'm sure my face would have been white as the colour drained. I have nearly all of my music collection on there as I thought I could use my PC as a jukebox and the amount of time it took me to upload everything doesn't bare thinking about. So a lot of Friday evening was trying to repair it and trying to find out what was wrong, after spending to long on it, I sorted my son out for bed, I can't remember why but we let him fall asleep on the sofa, me and the gf then played the computer, we started off with a snowboarding game but it kept crashing, so we moved on to Mario Kart on the Wii, I didn't do to badly and won a few races but no trophies until the last match of the night.

Saturday was a bit of a loss day, it was spent getting up late (well the gf anyway, I was up just before 9), lazing about a bit, then wondering in to town for haircuts and a couple of basics needed from the supermarket. the gf cooked us dinner, which was nice, she used a spread n bake on some chicken, it was tikka flavour was was quite nice and the chicken stayed nice and moist.
we cuddled up on the sofa and watched Snakes on a plane, I have seen it so already knew how bad it was, but for a B movie I didn't expect much, the gf wasn't overly impressed with it but she did chuckle a couple of times through it.

I had decided Saturday that I was going to have a lie in on Sunday, I didn't do to bad and dragged myself out about 10/half 10ish, got my son and myself breakfast and got dressed. The previous evening we had been discussing what to have for dinner and all the usual suggestions weren't met with any eagerness from anyone, so I decided that we would have a roast, so once the gf had got up, about 12ish, i went to Tesco and brought a small chicken breast for roasting and everything else that was needed, potatoes, flours, eggs, milk and lunch box bits. When i get home my son wants to go and see his friend so I watch him go round to make sure he is safe and when he's in I head off to my room to play my computer, before I went up though the gf asked what time dinner would be ready I said about 4 she said 3, I thought OK, I can do that and played for about half hour, it was now 2pm and I hadn't got anything prepared, so I peel the spuds and get them steaming, whilst that's going on get the batter ready for the Yorkshire puddings, then it was time to put the spuds in to the roasting time and put the chicken on. as that left me with about half hour potting time I faffed round the house a bit, sorting my washing out, watching a bit of telly, washing up the pans and mixing bowl I had used, I popped my head round the lounge door and asked if she wanted a cuppa, well of course she did, she then asked what time dinner would be ready, I said about 4 and she just smirked. My timing seemed to be spot on and everything was ready at once, except my son, he was still at his friends and when the gf went to get him no one answered, she has a pathetic weak knock, so I shot round to get him but this took about 5-10 mins as he couldn't find his jacket and me and his friends dad got chatting, even though I am trying to leave, the gf phoned to see what she should do and i told her just to turn everything off. I got in and luckily nothing was burnt but another minute or two it would have been, I dish the roast up, with all the veg for my son (broccoli, sprouts, peas and sweetcorn) same for the gf apart from the peas and sweetcorn and just the peas and sweetcorn for me, not that we are fussy at all, my son got in a little strop as I had only put on Yorkshire on his plate, I did tell him he could have another afterwards and this seem to cheer him up. The evening was spent with me putting out son to bed for an early night as he was still so tired and then me ironing whilst she sorted her room out as it looked like a bomb had hit it.

Why am I so weak

Last night I get in from the pub and we have another heart to heart and she says that I don't love her and only want her for sex. She feels that I don't put her first. I then go upstairs to the loo when I notice that there are two suitcases packed, she has decided to move out on her own and leave me with our son, she wants to do something for herself for a change. I can't remember much of the conversation but instead of letting her go, I told her I didn't want her to leave. I'm not sure if its because something seemed to lift about the whole relationship or I'm just scared.

One thing that did stick though was that she has been discussing it with her mum and her mum now knows we aren't getting along. I had a feeling on Sunday this was the case as I wasn't allowed to stay in the kitchen when they chatted.

What hit me though was that if she did leave I'm not sure how I would be able to handle work and looking after my son, I know that single mums do it, how though I have no idea. For me as the main earner I would have to take my son to the breakfast club and also he would have to go to after school club, which I wouldn't be able to pick him up till about 6pm. The cost but also the time we spent together would be a major factor.

The Beer Monster

So after Christmas everyone decides to cut down the food and beer intake, why? as long as you eat properly again afterwards you will be fine and your kidneys clear your system off all the bad stuff, so no need to detox and with this in mind I went to my friends birthday with all intent to have a good drink and a laugh.

I wasn't sure if I was going to make it to his birthday as the gf had organised to go out the same night for her friends birthday which left us with a little man needing to be babysat, she had told me not to ask any of her family to babysit and I wasn't allowed to get a babysitter in as she doesn't like the idea of a stranger in the house. So me being me, I text her brother to see if he could babysit, but I wasn't doing it as her family but as my friend, but this still got me in to trouble and a blazing row. With everything sorted for my son to stay with his uncle I dropped him off at about 6pm Saturday and went home to get ready, which for me meant jumping in to the shower and sorting my clothes out, which took about half hour but another hour waiting for the gf. The gf was going to come with me for the beginning of the night then meet her friends during the evening, which I had no problems with, so we get a taxi as we are running a little late, women, get in and the drinking starts. It was just the four of us to start with but people started turning up about 8 half 8ishm there was an ex of mine there, which when the gf saw rolled her eyes and left me a bit uncomfortable as if I wanted to have a chat with the ex I knew it would be awkward.

The gf didn't bother going to meet up with her friends and stayed with us till the end of the night which was quite nice and we had a good belly full of beer and her with her cherry Sourz and coke (alcoholic Cherry coke). When we were kicked out of the pub I went with my mate back to his house to play the Wii, the gf was invited but she wanted to go home and she got herself a taxi. We got back to my mates house and cracked open another beer when the food turned up with a few other people, they had headed off in the cars before us. I remember watching them play a carnival game, then the next I was waking up on the sofa 9 in the morning with a duvet on me. So I rushed up and called a taxi, which didn't take long to get to me and I headed home, stopping off at the shop for some headache tablets as my head was killing, I got in and it was very quiet, so I went upstairs and the gf was in bed, she scowled at me then turned over so she didn't have to look at me, that's when I knew I was in the bad books, so I made a cuppa for us and had a shower, she told me she wasn't going to drink it though, so I went off up stairs and went on the computer for a little while. All day yesterday she would only make polite conversation with me it we were with company, otherwise it was the cold shoulder just like today, I can understand her being a bit miffed, but she didn't call all text me asking where I was or anything, which if she did I might have woken up to and gone home, a couple of peaceful days for me coming up I hope.

One of our friends has had a bit of a crap time with relationships, I'm not sure what goes wrong but something does, but she has a new man in her life now, he seems a nice chap, has got some money behind him and I hope them all the best, for some reason though someone had to point out the age difference, she is 26 and he is 49, if your happy though does age matter? I was thinking about it last night and I thought it didn't but then I'm not sure if I could go out with someone 10 years plus or minus my age, I'm not sure why, maybe I'll have to try it out.

So what are your thoughts on age difference?