Friday Night

Friday Night I went an saw Dirty Pretty Things.

It was a great concert, even though it cost me £6 for half a pint (well I brought two pints but only made it back with half).

The atmosphere was brilliant and they sounded great, lost of pushing and shoving going on and also lots of drinking, I think a good time was had by all.

I have posted some pics, hope you enjoy

Just some pics from an Orson Concert I went to

Another of the Cool guitarist

Lead singer going mad

The Drummer

The Lead Singer

Close up

The Cool guitarist





The best shot of the night

The Past Week

I don't know where to start.

It really has been a strange one, on Thursday my son was taken to hospital with breathing difficulties but he is all well now and came home on Friday, he was put on a nebuliser for a while and we had to bring home an asthma pump which he has been taking.

On Friday the gf went out and got drunk and when she came in we talked for a while and i thought my luck was going to be in but because she talked so much she told me she was tired so we went to sleep.

Saturday The gf was working during the day so i did the manly thing and stripped the sofas of all of their covers and washed them. I then picked her up after work, we popped to her mums then went home, she decided to go and lie down for a while as she was still tired from staying at the hospital and from her Friday night drinking, so I followed her upstarts and was cuddling her as she was in bed and grabbing her bum and things, when she suddenly grabs my hand and says, is this what you want and puts it between her legs (OK i think I played on her being tired and wanting to go to sleep but i wasn't going to let it happen until something else did) so we have sex, it was sex there was some passions but it was more of a quickie than an all out looking after each others wants and need. I then cooked diner and went out with friends, we did a small pub crawl which resulted in me having a lift home for the local constabulary (I thanked them very much), it was a door to door service and I felt like a VIP and not the drunken bum I really was.

Sunday woke on the sofa fully dressed, even with my jacket on. The rest of the day was spent recovering at my mums as she was cooking Sunday lunch so I took my son with me.

During the week was going OK, small arguments here and there but nothing drastic but then Wednesday I get back from football an hour later than usual and the gf is not talking to me, so as I was feeling a bit tired I took my book upstairs and went to bed to read, she then comes in and starts moaning that I want to live the bachelor life and that I don't actually care about her or my son and that I never do things with him and that I ignore him. She tells me she doesn't love me any more and hasn't for a while, she is still with me because she wants the feeling back. She wants me to move out over the Christmas period so her and my son can do their thing and that I won't have anything to do with my son when she leaves, so I agree with her if that's what she wants (I'm really thinking that she will have the biggest fight on her hands she has ever seen if she even tries and stops me from seeing him, but for now I let it slid) So I just agree with her about the love thing but because I don't like confrontation about these sort of things (or maybe its I am just fed up with the whole thing that I just agree with her and tell her I will leave tomorrow (this would have been last night). But I start making her laugh and messing about as hey if we are going to split up I might as well have a laugh with her now. So anyway she goes and turns everything off downstairs and comes to bed were we cuddle a little and she tells me she is sorry for everything, so now i am confused but I do want to be with her, so I tell her everything is going to be OK (I hope anyway) and we go to sleep.

Yesterday was a better day and we end up going to bed about 11 and watching and end of a film, now I don't know her signals these days so she is lying with her back to me and I put my hand on her lower thigh close between her legs and slowly move my little finger closer and she doesn't move away so I move closer and closer and we start having some fun and we start to (well to me) make love, I had the feeling in my heart and head that she really wanted to do this and that she was doing it because she wanted it and because she felt horny and for the first time in a long time I felt the closeness between us.

I will see how the weekend goes.

The Weekend and I'm confused

Well the weekend started ok but then everything fell apart.

during the week it was my works off-site, this is where we all get out of the office and decide as a department where we are going what we have done and also to relax and have a few drinks and meet each other. I work for a big company and it is amazing who you don't see for a year.

But this is what happened

The hotel is sort of local to me and the gf said if it was there then I was supposed to go home and not stay over, thus me missing the fun part of the evening as we get to stay over, so I lied and told her the hotel I was staying in was somewhere else, which was going ok until i left a bit of paper on the side with the actual hotel that I stayed in.

So On Friday she asked me where this bit of paper came from and i denied I knew so once again lying (to me I was doing this to avoid confrontation, how wrong was I) so in the evening she asks again and I tell her the truth and she blows up, I understand why she did this, so we don't talk for the rest of the night and I end up sleeping on the sofa, the next day she goes shopping all day so no text messages were swapped between us and when she gets home she still isn't really talking to me. In the end we end up talking about it and why I lied and we end up going to bed to sleep.

When we get to bed though I can't sleep as all I want to do is touch her and get close and make love but she isn't having any of it, so I decide to get up and she asks me why, I tell her its because I am frustrated and all I want to do is have sex with her and then it starts.

I am at the do and tell her that I feel she is physically detached from me and we start talking about it and i learn some home truths and also her thoughts. I ask her that I want us to go and see someone but she doesn't want to and how could they possibly help us. She then tells me she doesn't like sex and i turn around and tell her that I cannot believe that at 22 she doesn't want sex and me at 29 am not going to live a celibate lifestyle. The gf then tells me some of the reason why.

1 She doesn't trust me as one time when she was pregnant I came home with a love bite (this is sort of true, but what happened and ok still wrong, I was out drinking with friends and we ended up going to a club and me and this woman started doing tequila's but the salt and lemon we did slightly differently, basically I was licking salt from her neck and vice versa and a couple of times she bite and sucked at the same time thus leaving the mark.)

2 Still pregnant when she was sleeping I thought I would wake her up for some love making but instead of shaking her I played with her and with the response I got I thought she wanted to do this and at the time she did, except when it stopped she had a go at me. (I admit I did do this a couple of times once our son was born (yes I should learn from my mistakes) and once again she responded but with the same outcome of her going through the motions but then her having a go at me).

3 If she hadn't of been pregnant we wouldn't be together now.

4 She doesn't trust me (the love bit, the waking her, lying about the hotel)

5 I may have missed some other bits out but was tired by this stage

I might add that she has also kissed someone, which I have added earlier in my blog.

So with these revelations we both decided that maybe we should call time on the relationship and that after Christmas we would sort things out, where who's going live, who my son is going to live with etc. Which I was fine with, we both said at the time that we didn't actually feel sad about what was happening.

So that was Saturday night, then Sunday was just a normal day like nothing had changed, even though in my head I am trying to get to grips what will happen in the new year.

On Monday though things are still the norm, when we are sitting down and cuddling she mutters/whispers, "lets just see how things go" I don't respond to this and nothing else is mentioned about it. So now I am trying to figure out does she mean "US" or "Things in the New Year". So tomorrow I am going to sit down with her and find out exactly what she meant as I am now in limbo.

Wednesday 22nd Nov

I got up and my son also woke up so we went to the bathroom and I washed shaved, did my hair. I then took my son downstairs and ironed my clothes for work. I then sorted my son's breakfast out and left for work after going upstairs to my sleeping gf and giving her a kiss, I then gave my son a kiss and a cuddle and said bye.

Then spent the next 8/9 hours at work just doing the usual.

I get home about half 5 and the gf is lying on the sofa and my son was hiding behind a pillow, hiding from me. I then turn around to go and sort out my football kit when all of a sudden then is a screaming match in the front room between my son and gf. So I walk in to try and calm things down when I get abuse from her telling me what a pain he has been all day and hasn't been doing what he has been told to do etc, so I listen, but in my head i am thinking "well there is plenty of washing up to be done, instead of sitting on your arse all day (except when you worked for two hours this morning) you could have left him to do what he wanted to do and got on with some housework, OK I hate doing it to but it would give you two some breathing space. You know when your on the computer he will want to play it, why not wait till he is in bed to do it."

So anyway she decides that she needs a break from him and basically is wanting me to take him away, so I get him dressed and forget about football and me and my son leave the house, I am not 10 steps away when I get a text saying bring him back, which I ignore. We get to the car and I start trying to call my mum to see if she is in so I can go and see her and get some dinner etc and i know she loves it when her grandson sees her, well I get no reply and I finally get my son in to the car but he is so upset with what has happened that he doesn't want to go anywhere but see his mum. So I take my son home and my gf and him make up and I go to football.

When i get home the gf is really sorry for what has happened and tells me that they have made up and had kisses and cuddles, but all i can think of is why did this happen? Will it happen again?

Physically detached

Well not much has happened over the past few days at home, I have felt a bit closer to my gf but not much. We have had the odd kiss (peck) and cuddle. Last night I had text her that when she gets in for work that I would like her to strip naked and lie on the floor in front of the fire so I could massage her, I started to get the blanket ready and things when I still hadn't had a reply, also to a number of other texts, then about 9pm she texts me saying she has been busy wrapping presents for Santa's Grotto that they are gong to be holding. So I text back thinking that she would be up for the massage whether she would like it when she comes in, my reply was "not really". So ok maybe I did the wrong thing and I packed everything away.

I get a text letting me know she is leaving work so I make her a cup of hot chocolate for when she gets in. When she arrives I am just finishing up and we go in to the lounge and chill out and watch a bit of TV and talk about our day. I decide to go to bed and walk past my gf and bend down to give her a kiss where she turns round and says "I'm coming up to" and moves her head so that I can't kiss her. So I walk of in a little strop all sorts of things going on in my head, but then when we go up to bed with have a bit of a giggle and laugh, I have got in to bed and she is still dressed and sits on top of my, so I'm bucking her and tickling her to get her off when she tells me she needs to pee, so I tickle harder. In the end she gets up and does her nightly routine and comes to bed, I learn over to kiss her and cuddle her and all she offers me is her cheek so I sit up more so I can kiss her lips in which she gets a bit tetchy, so I turn over and go to sleep.

So I lie awake for a little while (When I'm in bed I can fall asleep in 20 secs flat) trying not to get up set and once again all theses thoughts are going through my head. Does she love me "yes" Does she want to be with me "yes" Does she have physical emotions for me "Don't think so".

So for now I am just going to put my thoughts here, then when I can write (have a broken wrist at the mo) I am going to put my thoughts in a letter and tell her how I am feeling. I can't stand not having the physical love of a relationship, mentally its all there. (I think so anyway)

Well I have decided

that I am not going to bride/pay my gf for sex anymore (how long I last I don't know) but I am going to see what happens from now until the new year. If nothing has improved I am going to give RELATE a ring and book an appointment with them and if my gf doesn't come then I will do it alone at least this way I will know where I stand. I want to talk to her about this and I have done in the past but I never seem to be able to get everything across that I want. I guess it is because I don't want to hurt her feelings or have her turn round to tell me it will be over, so hopefully by doing this it will give me time to see what happens. I will right down all the things that bother me and when. I hate the intimacy that we have lost, she hates when I cuddle her in bed, if I try to kiss her, if I try to kiss her properly, basically anything that may have feelings.

I will keep posting here as my online diary of what happens, fingers crossed it will get sorted but I have had enough now and something has to change.

On a lighter note, I had a great weekend, it started early Friday evening where I went out with work friends for drinks and a curry, got home about 12 in bit of a drunken state and fell alseep downstairs (my son had stolen my place in my bed). Saturday was spent recovering and faffing around the house. Sunday was good as I took my son to see my mum (gf was working) where we had a nice lunch and a gentle stroll to the local pub. Once home I did some washing up and cooked dinner.

Watched some telly with gf once I had bathed and put the little man to bed. When we went to bed he kept waking up as he has got a cough from somewhere, so in the end (about half 1) I managed to get him to take some medicine where he feel asleep till 6.20 this morning, where he decided to come in to our bed, which I don't mind as I had to get up soon anyway.

Anyways time to go, have a good one and will keep the blog updated as much as poss.

Thanks for passing

Hello to

Cat, Miss Understood and Cuddlebum

I have been reading Cuddlebum's blog for a little while now and i had never commented until she ask for people to delurk, which i done, I will be posting more comments from now on.(http://bubbaeireannach.blogspot.com/) hope she doesn't mind me posting the link

I have also been reading Miss Understood's blog for a little while now and it wasn't till i read one of her entries that I decided I had to comment, it was a great memory that she decided to share with us all. Here is her blog http://allthingswomanly.blogspot.com/index.html I hope she doesn't mind me posting, if so please let me know and I will remove the link.

Cat was the first person to leave a comment on my blog so I went and took a look and I feel sorry for the guy, ok he had an affair and he has a price to pay but he is trying so hard to get his girl back. I hope he succeeds. I may put the link up if he says its ok

Just a picture

Christmas Advertising

I love Christmas, I love seeing the delight on my son's face when he is trying to open his presents, which is going to be even better this year as he has a better understanding of what is going on. I love getting present and spending time with my g/f and son and also my family, ok it means I need to visit different houses over the period but I feel the love of the season when I do and yes I like going to the (one day) inlaws. I like having champagne Christmas morning, then my brandy in the evening and the few beers in between.

What I hate though is the companies that start advertising for Christmas as early as and yes I did see it, September in one supermarket. Now that Halloween and Bonfire night is over, there are adverts on every channel, that have adverts saying do your Christmas shopping with us, look at the deals we've got. Its only bloody November, I don't need this shoved in my face everyday when I am at home relaxing. I don't want to be worrying if they are going to run out of stock am I going to be able to get what I want to buy my g/f and son.

Please leave the Christmas adverts till 1st December, I don't mind then that I only have 23 more shopping days and not 90, I don't mind rushing around getting the last minute deals or the last item off the shelf, but please please wait till December.

Well that's that rant over with, if you agree please leave a small comment. Thanks

Time for A Story

You walk in to the bar where I am working and order yourself a drink, it is early in the day and you are the only customer. I am carrying out my normal duties when you ask me to put on a music channel on the big screen, as no one is around I am happy to oblige.

The air con isn't working that day and the day is hot so already you aren't wearing much. You sit at a table across the bar from me and I can see you are enjoying
the sexy videos with the ladies all wearing bikinis, (this being summer time, all the music channels are playing summer songs). I see that you are getting slightly red in the face and I'm not sure why until as I'm bending behind the bar I notice that your hand is under the table but I can't see your fingers, that is when it twigs.

I see your glass is almost empty so I walk over with a fresh drink for you and ask if everything is ok, at this point you know I have noticed what you are doing and go all red in the face. I tell you the drink is on the house, but on one condition........

You walk over to the bar and where you are standing you lift your skirt "Is this what you want" I look over you have no knickers on, I make way towards you,
still on my knees from where I was stacking shelves, I place my head between your legs......

My tongue slides in and that is when I get the first taste of you and wow it is heaven. As you feel my tongue penetrate you I feel you shudder and squeeze my head between your thighs, I move slightly back so I can use my fingers to open you and get my tongue in deeper exploring you. I feel your breath getting deeper so I remove my tongue and use it against your clit, gently at first the pressing harder and harder making it rock hard, I take it in between my lips pressing then together.

Whilst I am doing this I slid two fingers into your hot wet pussy, I can feel the heat around my fingers, so wet making them slid in so easily.I feel that you are going to come so I stop what I am doing and take you to the pool table. I bend you
over it with your cheeks on display and take my belt off and take one swipe across your cheeks, enough to sting and to leave a mark, a moan escapes you.....

I hear the moan and it excites me knowing that it is turning you on being spanked so I use my belt a few more times seeing your pussy glistening, I feel you have had all the pleasure so far so I move to the front of you and unzip my trousers and pull my hard throbbing cock and place it at your lips, you seem not to want to take me in your mouth so I push a bit harder, you part your lips open your mouth and start sucking me.

It feels so good I don't want it to stop but I can tell you want this to finish, So I move back round behind you and slap your cheeks a few times with the belt each stroke harder than the first, the moaning getting louder.

I get you to turn over so that you are sitting on the edge on the table, I go down on you once again just to>make sure are ready for me, I taste your sweetness, I feel the heat coming from you, I know it is the right time now.

I get back up and move close to you, take me in your hand and press my head against your lips,all the while staring deep in to my eyes, I press my body in to you and you press back taking me deep inside you, a small moan escapes when I am all in, I feel you squeezing me from inside, trying to pull me deeper inside you, I start pumping harder and harder, you pushing against me with each stroke, Our eyes staring deep into one another, then we move closer with passion and heat, our lips touching pressing harder, mouths opening,our tongues exploring each others mouths. This making the passion almost unbearable we push ourselves harder and harder against each other wanting more and more when suddenly I can feel you tighten around me, your breathing getting deeper, you getting wetter, the moans getting louder and more intense when suddenly our bodies can't take no more and explode, your juices flooding around me, me exploding inside you filling you. We fall in a heap on the table.....

You come back from the loo, your hair back to the way it was when you came in, skirt all straightened, lipstick done, you finish your drink, smile "This is a bar I could come back to" you say, I smile,"come back soon I haven't shown you the cellar yet"

What do I do

I am in love with my girlfriend and never ever want to be without her, but the sex life is lagging and I have no idea what to do.

Let me take you through the last few days.

I had a small talk with her and she has told me she doesn't like sex any more. Now this came as a bit of a shock to me, ok since we found out she was pregnant and then once our son was born our sex life was a struggle. I always wanted to she didn't.

We used to have a great sex life before we found out about our little bundle of joy (not so little now, he's nearly 3 yrs old now) We would have sex anywhere and everywhere. All positions, we even filmed ourselves a couple of times, took pictures and experimented.

But it has come to me now having to bribe her to have sex with me, yes it sounds like prostitution and I guess technically it is but I can not see any other way of getting what I like doing apart from either going to a prostitute or having an affair both of which I don't want to do and will not do. A problem I have though is she wants wham bam thank you mam and there is no loving (well doesn't seem to be) with the whole act. I like to tease have foreplay, stroke, caress, lick, suck and finger and all the rest. She seems to not want me to do a lot of this now and it is really bugging me.

We did have a little experiment as my g/f has really gone of giving me bj's and its not down to my personal hygiene. She has been trying to build herself up to do it but what we ended up doing was just her plating 5 kisses on my which I thought was wonderful and great progress but where do I go now, do I offer her money to do it again or how soon, aaarrrgggghhhh I just don't know. Might post more later but need to sort my head out as not sure how to put down any more

Because you MUST

Enter any Kasabian Video you would like to see and It will either play it or tell you they haven't made one for that track yet.

Enjoy

PS watch the EMPIRE video

Weekend at War (well not quite)

The weekend started of quite well, I didn't get up to much in Friday, apart from getting my hair cut, I did get slightly worried though when I was sitting in the chair and was wondering whether my car would be locked away or not, as I had decided to park in the local supermarket as i hadn't bothered to see what time they lock the shutters. so once I was out of the chaired, I rushed back for no reason as they have extended their opening hours till 8pm.

Saturday was spent doing a little tidying around the house (well I washed up and cleaned the bathroom and toilet). Once that was done I went and collected N from work and we headed off to town. Just a little shopping, then back home. We had a small argument on whose turn it was to cook dinner, I lost. Then i had a text from a friend asking if I wanted to pop round, but N being N wasn't having any of it "because I have work in the morning" she says, but it doesn't stop her when she goes out on the razz.

So that night was spent removing her bikini hair and having a little fun between her legs :)

Sunday started of well
Got up, well more like my son drags me out of bed so I can get his breakfast, which I don't mind except that N has got up and was going to do it for him. When I go to work during the week he lets her sleep so i still have to get his breakfast, oh well.

So with that all done I take my son to the supermarket to pick up some beef for Sunday dinner. Once that has been unpacked we go for a swim, once we finished that I dropped him off to his Nan’s as i was off to the pub to watch football.
So got to the pub, just in time to see Chelsea and Liverpool kick off. This is when the day starts to get blurry. So order the first pint, then a few more later Chelsea have scored have a few more drinks and its now the end of the match and Liverpool have lost and i am a bit tipsy. So walk back to meet n and pick my son up, and for some reason we seem to spend quite a while there, so me being me and a little drunk decides to have a cigarette (by the way I have already had a couple at the pub) as N decided to visit the next door neighbours, but in mid drag she walks in and catches me and tell me that will be a fiver (unbeknown to me, she has tried to slap and cigarette fine on me, to which I ignore).

So we walk home and I end up carrying my son on my shoulders, this is where I realise he has put on some weight. So we get home and I cook the dinner, not being the most sober when i have cooked a roast before. So once this has all been done I have a snooze on the sofa, the alcohol having its effects on me. Then its time for my son to go to bed which I take him up and start to read his story but the words are floating all over the page, so instead I hold his hand and he falls asleep in his bed and me on his lion (big teddy type thing). N comes in to the room and wakes me up as she want me to help with the house work as we have a viewing tomorrow which I say yes of course and head straight to the bedroom and again fall asleep.

N returns again and not being very happy, which looking back on it a sort of agree with her, but I wake up in a foul mood and stomp downstairs, I get very stropy if I have been woken up, almost like a child that is over tired. So I start cleaning the kitchen, bashing about, and slamming things (so glad my son sleeps heavily like me), in the end though I get everything washed and stuff put away. Once this is all done, its now about 11pm me and N have a cuddle and both apologise for being in a mood. I decide that its time that I got some sleep and head to bed, I put the TV on wondering if there is anything good on, which there isn’t, so I am just turning it off when N comes in and gets in to bed. I give her a cuddle and kiss and go to sleep

Smoking

Well i have given up smoking again because a work colleague (who shall remain nameless) made me. Well she was giving up and said I had to so thought why the hell not, also I thought with both of us doing it we can get through it. I managed about 3/4 months last time but this time there is no going back (well apart from the odd joint now and again). The only trouble is though (now two days in to it) is that I am going to have to find a way of getting myself of apples. they are the only thing I want when the niggling feeling of wanting a cigarette returns. I wonder if I will be able to take my own apples to the pub.

Reading Day 2,3 and 4

I was going to go through day by day and tell you all about how each day went and what bands i watched etc etc but I don't want to bore the arse off you. All I will say is that I had a bloody great time and if you want to know what it is like you are just going to have to go, like I am next year as I have already brought my tickets :)

Reading Festival Thursday Day 1

As you can tell from the title of my post I went to the Reading festival.

Thursday morning wake up and get dressed and help the other half get ready and my son as they are off for a break themselves.

Once they leave I tidy the house a bit move the dirty plates to the sink and give the house a quick hoover.
Me and the other halfs younger brother leave for Reading about 8:30am /8:45 and we make our first stop, Tesco's, I need to get petrol and cigarettes.
So once the first stop is over it is the long drive to reading.

So we finally arrive at Reading and get parked up all the boring stuff.

We make our way to a campsite which was a lot easier than last week, maybe because I have packed everything making it easier to carry. We get to the campsite we were in last year and its empty, I am thinking to myself that maybe this is not the best plan but we press on and move further and further back when we come across some tents, we ask if we will be moved on and they say only if you are in the emergency zone, so we move a bit and start to pitch the tent.

So the tents pitched and everything was going smoothly, too smoothly. So we get everything in the tent I sit down to roll a joint and that's when I realise I have forgotten two things, my weed and my grinder, so me and J (N's younger brother) sit down and have a beer and decide what to do. as it is still early (well about half 1) we take a wonder in to Reading and see if I can find a grinder (weed isn't a problem I remember that I have left this in the car and we can get to that on the way back).

Now I have been to Reading twice before once last year and once when I was at college and got chatting to a girl on line, this I may go in to another day, but I couldn't remember anything, where we should be or where we should be heading, so we wondered around aimlessly for about 20 mins following random people hoping that we would find the town centre, which in the end we did.

So once in town we start looking for the dodgey allies and shopping centres which in the end we find and we walk down the Arcadia where we come across a leather shop (me thinking I will try my luck) walk in and ask if they sell any grinders to which he replies he doesn't "you need to go smelly ally, out of here turn right, cross the road then right at the ally", I ask why its called smelly ally and it turns out it is where the fruit and veg stalls are and fishmongers (not that I thought it was sex and drugs paradise).

So I finally get all that I need and we head back to camp after stopping of at maccie D's for a burger and pit stop.

we finally get back to camp about half 3 and at last I can have a joint.

Well not much has really happened since my last post, I know its been a while.

I have been banished to the sofa a few times now for numerous reasons, one for being drunk and the other for being caught having a crafty joint. Am I allowed to ban her to the sofa for not having sex with me, now there's an idea.

My sex life hasn't improved with the other half, she still insists she's not like she used to be and doesn't enjoy it much, I did actually bribe her to have sex with me which worked but when it came to it, no I didn't back out, I did it without feeling, so there was no love making but just me getting my rocks off, two can play the game.

This weekend was good went out Friday night ( I was allowed to go out as she had been out all of last weekend) and got very drunk, spent most of Saturday on the couch looking after my son whilst trying to recover. My son was great though, kissing my head everytime I moved as he could tell it was hurting.

Back at work today and I'm thinking why?

Yes it is to pay the bills, mortgage etc etc but there must be more to life than living for the weekend. I get to see my son for roughly 3hrs a day, when I wake up and am getting ready for work and then two hrs in the evening before I put him to bed, and yes its the same for most parents and even mine when I was younger but I feel I am missing out a lot from his life.

Anyway that's enough of that rant, my next is, how do I get my girlfriend back to enjoying sex before she got pregnant, I mean it was amazing, we had sex anywhere and everywhere, most nights if not more than once. If there is a magic potion or someone out there to talk to please let me know as I am getting desperate now. I have even been thinking of having an affair. I do love her and would hate to be apart from her and my son but I don't know what options are out there.

Anyway I may be back on soon ranting about the same thing or telling you about my weekend at the Reading festival which is this week, I can't wait to get away from it all.

The weekend has almost landed

The weekend is nearly here, the sun is shining and I have nothing planned.

Lets see where it take us, hopefully somewhere like last Friday, met a friend for a drink, then had a call out of the blue from my brother asking to meet for a drink and he will be there in 10 mins, which I thought was bloody quick seeing as he lives in Scotland. He was down for a friends birthday I found out.

So we went to a couple of different pubs and ended up in one and found a new drink, called a Black Mamba, Black aftershock, archers and Vodka, it makes for a very interesting drink, but definitely something for the end of a night.

Not much has happened during the week apart from work and sorting the house out.

Last Night

I don't seem to be able to focus to well today, I feel rough and my tongue feels furry, all I can suggest then is that it was a cracking night, which It was.

I drank, I smoked, I had fun.

Well I saw the Zutons last night and I can say that I was not disappointed.

http://www.thezutons.com/

I was a little unsure what to expect from them as their albums are great, but this I can say about other bands and their live set was shocking and not in a good way, however The Zutons did not disappoint one bit. They were loud and clear, they were in time with each other, they simply rocked. They pleased the crowd with the tracks that they played and they had some audience participation which was good and the audience, I must say loved it.

I think last night had the main ingredients for a good night.

Beer
Friendly Atmosphere
Great music
Beer
Good Company

Have a good weekend

Yesterday

Nothing much really happened yesterday, just a normal day at work.

I did however get through the post, new albums of Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Zutons and The Streets.

The Red Hot chili Peppers album is them back at their original level, which was great to hear again.
The Zutons is good and there is one line which has already stuck "I miss your ginger hair and the way you like to dress"(will be seeing them live this week which I can't wait for, I have heard they are a good live band so am keeping my fingers crossed) .
The Streets, I brought this as I hadn't been let down by the first to albums, which are good albums, but this one is going to need to grow on me more, I think this is because the previous ones I found more catchy, where as this one I feel they have slightly changed the tempo and style.

Well tonight will be spent in doors, either playing the xbox or catching up on a DVD, I say catching up, what I mean is watching one of the many in my collection that I still haven't watched yet, I am aiming to try and watch every DVD at least twice, this way in my own mind it was worth paying the price for instead of paying Blockbusters and not being able to keep the DVD.

What happened to the weekend

Well not much really happened after Tuesday last week, just the normal day to day stuff of going to work, going home etc etc.

But then Friday arrived and it started again, was chatting to my partner(N) and she starts having ago at me because I won't be home till about 4/half 4, I can only do this on a Friday and only if I get in early, which I did and she moaned at that to.

So she accuses me of seeing someone at work because I came in for 7.45am and as I'm not leaving till half 3-4. So it starts on MSN and we start discussing who's going to be moving out. She also wants us to sit down so we can discuss who gets what if we do split

I am now getting to the end of my tether and if it happens again someone will be moving out.

The Weekend was good.

Saturday morning I spent cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom, five minutes later though still looked like a bomb had hit it, but at least it was a chemical bomb, as I am sure nothing would be able to live with the amount of bleach I used.

Met up with my brother Saturday night and went to my dads with him, doing the sons bit and got very drunk and very stoned. My dad was drunk so was his partner, she talks for England and everything is I/we have done better, it gets on my nerves so all I end up doing is switching off, which I did do a couple of times and each time she had finished I looked up and asked her what she said as I had no idea. I think she got the gist in the end, or was that because she fell alseep on the sofa.

Sunday was spent recovering and relaxing with my son as N was working.
Did a little shopping to get dinner bits, when we got home I relaxed a little bit more then cooked dinner.

After the aftermath

Well after yesterday and not knowing where I was regarding my partner, I have decide to let the matter drop and get on with my life with her by my side. Two reason for this.

1 I love her
2 I love my son and don't feel that this is a good enough reason for his parents to split up.

So you are probably thinking he's only doing if for his son, and on a level you are right, if my son hadn't been born I would have kick her out straight away and even packed her stuff for her, but my son is alive and he is the greatest kid I know (yes I am bias but I don't care). He is the one my partner should be thanking that we are still together as I sat down and thought of all the possibilities of what life would be with her with out her, with her and my son, with just my son, just my son at weekends and its not what I won't.

I also want to be with my partner as I love her loads, I enjoy her company, I love it when we go out together, her smile, her body, her smell, everything about her. The way she comes out with something that makes no sense at all but she thinks it is perfectly reasonable English.

The weekend

It started of like most weekends
Friday
takeway from local Indian restaurant, then cuddled on the sofa watching Friday night TV.
Saturday
was spent most of the morning cleaning, then went to watch the football, which was a great game and well done to Liverpool, sorry West Ham fans. So slightly tipsy from that, went home and put my little boy to bed. My partners friend came round and they got ready for a girls night out, they left and my fired came round for a few beers and play the xbox.
He was slightly more tipsy than me but was a good evening. I have stayed up watching a couple of DVD's and playing the xbox, still drinking, until the other half finally gets in at half 2, she's not alone, she's with a friend of ours who has kindly walked her home, they are both very drunk and we stay up till about 4 drinking and talking when he decides to get a taxi home.
So my partner walks him downstairs to wait with him till the taxi appears, which is fine until abut 10 mins have passed so I go out on to the balcony and hear them talking, then its a bit quiet, then I hear them talking again and (not sure who says it) but "can I have another kiss". Now I think I imagine this so I sneak downstairs and find out what they are talking about, and from there it sort of goes blank, I go back upstairs and they are still talking so I go back down and listen again, that's still blank until she comes in and says "I know you were listening" so I tell her I was and asked what the hell she thought she was doing.

What hurts the most is that we haven't had a great sex life since our son was born, I couldn't remember the last time we had a proper kiss, we used to kiss all the time, then when something likes this happen you doubt yourself, is it me she doesn't actually want to kiss or have sex with.

Sunday
Got up, still not sure if I had dreamt what happened, the saw my partner , realised it wasn't a dream.
Faffed around the house in the morning not quite sure what I was going to be doing, do I kick her out or not, but going through my mind was if i do throw her out, will she take our son. I don't think I could cope being a weekend dad and my heart goes out to those that do want to see their kids.
So anyway get the little man dressed so we can go swimming, he loves it, once the arm bands are on there is no stoppping him, hes on his back, then his front then hes out of the pool jumping back in off the steps.

The g/f, this is my partner, comes and watches us as she is finishing work soon. I try and blank her but I don't succeed very well.

So we get home and i forgive her, just like that, not sure wether its because I don't want to lose her or don't want to lose my son, or both. It may even be because I don't want to put up with her whinning on about how sorry she is.

Today though I don't know how I feel about the whole situation

To Clean or Not to clean

Its been a while since I lifted a finger around the house, I admit its the last thing I want to do when I get home, its also one of the last things my partner wants to do to. Ok I understand that she does work a few hours a week (She does 12:30 hours to 18 hrs week) , she also looks after our son during the day. He's 2 and a great kid. What I can't understand though is why she can't do house work at the same time, is it that difficult, so yesterday I decide something had to change and that started with me. The bedroom looked like a bomb had hit it, followed by a hurricane, clothes everywhere, I never knew how many clothes we had. So I cleared the floor of clothes, these are now piled up by the washing basket as this was full with the first load of clothes I had picked up. I then went around and cleared the floor of all the junk that had accumulated, I'm not proud of it but I took a black sack full of rubbish out, this included magazines, empty bottles etc. The game plan is to sort the clothes out in to two bags (well I know that its going to take more) one for recycling and one for down and out rubbish.

Not sure which room to start on next but will keep you posted.

Illness related voice change

Why is it when my partner is ill or tired (when its both I just want to move out) that her patience level drops and her voice raises to a shout the moment I disagree with something. It winds me up chronic when she does it to and then she thinks I am in a mood with her because I stop talking, the only reason I do this is so she won't shout anymore.

Hangovers are not fun

How is it that when I used to work in a bar hangovers didn't bother me now they do, I'm not sure if its age related or because I don't drink as frequently, anyway went outlast night on the spur of the moment started off meaning to have a quiet drink, but no ended up hammering them down mixing cider and lrger, all sorts of different shots. I don't quite rember the walk home but I do remeber waking up on the sofa at 3am wondering how I got there, decided best was to get the spare duvet out of the cupbard as not to wake my partner or son.

But I did have fun :)

Car servicing A necessary evil?

I know a lot of people have there cars serviced and 9 times out of 10 it takes longer than they have said or costs more than they quoted (well it has for me everytime I have had it done). So when I booked my car in for a service for next week, I informed them I will be dropping it off at 7am the tell me that "Your car will be ready for collection from 09.00am onwards." Is it me or is this a typo?

UPDATE

Had a reply from the servicing company "I'm positive! I have booked your car into a waiting appointment at 08.00am as the car will be here already, so it will definitely be ready by 09.00am."

Do I try holding them to this?

And it begins

This is my first time setting up a blog and working in IT this does seem really daunting to me . I am doing this as I have never kept a diary and have decied it is time that I wrote down my thoughts and happenings of the day. I can't promise I will write in it everyday or weekly, but I will make at least one post a month, this is a promise to myself.