The weekend

It started of like most weekends
Friday
takeway from local Indian restaurant, then cuddled on the sofa watching Friday night TV.
Saturday
was spent most of the morning cleaning, then went to watch the football, which was a great game and well done to Liverpool, sorry West Ham fans. So slightly tipsy from that, went home and put my little boy to bed. My partners friend came round and they got ready for a girls night out, they left and my fired came round for a few beers and play the xbox.
He was slightly more tipsy than me but was a good evening. I have stayed up watching a couple of DVD's and playing the xbox, still drinking, until the other half finally gets in at half 2, she's not alone, she's with a friend of ours who has kindly walked her home, they are both very drunk and we stay up till about 4 drinking and talking when he decides to get a taxi home.
So my partner walks him downstairs to wait with him till the taxi appears, which is fine until abut 10 mins have passed so I go out on to the balcony and hear them talking, then its a bit quiet, then I hear them talking again and (not sure who says it) but "can I have another kiss". Now I think I imagine this so I sneak downstairs and find out what they are talking about, and from there it sort of goes blank, I go back upstairs and they are still talking so I go back down and listen again, that's still blank until she comes in and says "I know you were listening" so I tell her I was and asked what the hell she thought she was doing.

What hurts the most is that we haven't had a great sex life since our son was born, I couldn't remember the last time we had a proper kiss, we used to kiss all the time, then when something likes this happen you doubt yourself, is it me she doesn't actually want to kiss or have sex with.

Sunday
Got up, still not sure if I had dreamt what happened, the saw my partner , realised it wasn't a dream.
Faffed around the house in the morning not quite sure what I was going to be doing, do I kick her out or not, but going through my mind was if i do throw her out, will she take our son. I don't think I could cope being a weekend dad and my heart goes out to those that do want to see their kids.
So anyway get the little man dressed so we can go swimming, he loves it, once the arm bands are on there is no stoppping him, hes on his back, then his front then hes out of the pool jumping back in off the steps.

The g/f, this is my partner, comes and watches us as she is finishing work soon. I try and blank her but I don't succeed very well.

So we get home and i forgive her, just like that, not sure wether its because I don't want to lose her or don't want to lose my son, or both. It may even be because I don't want to put up with her whinning on about how sorry she is.

Today though I don't know how I feel about the whole situation