Well I have decided

that I am not going to bride/pay my gf for sex anymore (how long I last I don't know) but I am going to see what happens from now until the new year. If nothing has improved I am going to give RELATE a ring and book an appointment with them and if my gf doesn't come then I will do it alone at least this way I will know where I stand. I want to talk to her about this and I have done in the past but I never seem to be able to get everything across that I want. I guess it is because I don't want to hurt her feelings or have her turn round to tell me it will be over, so hopefully by doing this it will give me time to see what happens. I will right down all the things that bother me and when. I hate the intimacy that we have lost, she hates when I cuddle her in bed, if I try to kiss her, if I try to kiss her properly, basically anything that may have feelings.

I will keep posting here as my online diary of what happens, fingers crossed it will get sorted but I have had enough now and something has to change.

On a lighter note, I had a great weekend, it started early Friday evening where I went out with work friends for drinks and a curry, got home about 12 in bit of a drunken state and fell alseep downstairs (my son had stolen my place in my bed). Saturday was spent recovering and faffing around the house. Sunday was good as I took my son to see my mum (gf was working) where we had a nice lunch and a gentle stroll to the local pub. Once home I did some washing up and cooked dinner.

Watched some telly with gf once I had bathed and put the little man to bed. When we went to bed he kept waking up as he has got a cough from somewhere, so in the end (about half 1) I managed to get him to take some medicine where he feel asleep till 6.20 this morning, where he decided to come in to our bed, which I don't mind as I had to get up soon anyway.

Anyways time to go, have a good one and will keep the blog updated as much as poss.

Thanks for passing