The Weekend and I'm confused

Well the weekend started ok but then everything fell apart.

during the week it was my works off-site, this is where we all get out of the office and decide as a department where we are going what we have done and also to relax and have a few drinks and meet each other. I work for a big company and it is amazing who you don't see for a year.

But this is what happened

The hotel is sort of local to me and the gf said if it was there then I was supposed to go home and not stay over, thus me missing the fun part of the evening as we get to stay over, so I lied and told her the hotel I was staying in was somewhere else, which was going ok until i left a bit of paper on the side with the actual hotel that I stayed in.

So On Friday she asked me where this bit of paper came from and i denied I knew so once again lying (to me I was doing this to avoid confrontation, how wrong was I) so in the evening she asks again and I tell her the truth and she blows up, I understand why she did this, so we don't talk for the rest of the night and I end up sleeping on the sofa, the next day she goes shopping all day so no text messages were swapped between us and when she gets home she still isn't really talking to me. In the end we end up talking about it and why I lied and we end up going to bed to sleep.

When we get to bed though I can't sleep as all I want to do is touch her and get close and make love but she isn't having any of it, so I decide to get up and she asks me why, I tell her its because I am frustrated and all I want to do is have sex with her and then it starts.

I am at the do and tell her that I feel she is physically detached from me and we start talking about it and i learn some home truths and also her thoughts. I ask her that I want us to go and see someone but she doesn't want to and how could they possibly help us. She then tells me she doesn't like sex and i turn around and tell her that I cannot believe that at 22 she doesn't want sex and me at 29 am not going to live a celibate lifestyle. The gf then tells me some of the reason why.

1 She doesn't trust me as one time when she was pregnant I came home with a love bite (this is sort of true, but what happened and ok still wrong, I was out drinking with friends and we ended up going to a club and me and this woman started doing tequila's but the salt and lemon we did slightly differently, basically I was licking salt from her neck and vice versa and a couple of times she bite and sucked at the same time thus leaving the mark.)

2 Still pregnant when she was sleeping I thought I would wake her up for some love making but instead of shaking her I played with her and with the response I got I thought she wanted to do this and at the time she did, except when it stopped she had a go at me. (I admit I did do this a couple of times once our son was born (yes I should learn from my mistakes) and once again she responded but with the same outcome of her going through the motions but then her having a go at me).

3 If she hadn't of been pregnant we wouldn't be together now.

4 She doesn't trust me (the love bit, the waking her, lying about the hotel)

5 I may have missed some other bits out but was tired by this stage

I might add that she has also kissed someone, which I have added earlier in my blog.

So with these revelations we both decided that maybe we should call time on the relationship and that after Christmas we would sort things out, where who's going live, who my son is going to live with etc. Which I was fine with, we both said at the time that we didn't actually feel sad about what was happening.

So that was Saturday night, then Sunday was just a normal day like nothing had changed, even though in my head I am trying to get to grips what will happen in the new year.

On Monday though things are still the norm, when we are sitting down and cuddling she mutters/whispers, "lets just see how things go" I don't respond to this and nothing else is mentioned about it. So now I am trying to figure out does she mean "US" or "Things in the New Year". So tomorrow I am going to sit down with her and find out exactly what she meant as I am now in limbo.