Last night I get in from the pub and we have another heart to heart and she says that I don't love her and only want her for sex. She feels that I don't put her first. I then go upstairs to the loo when I notice that there are two suitcases packed, she has decided to move out on her own and leave me with our son, she wants to do something for herself for a change. I can't remember much of the conversation but instead of letting her go, I told her I didn't want her to leave. I'm not sure if its because something seemed to lift about the whole relationship or I'm just scared.
One thing that did stick though was that she has been discussing it with her mum and her mum now knows we aren't getting along. I had a feeling on Sunday this was the case as I wasn't allowed to stay in the kitchen when they chatted.
What hit me though was that if she did leave I'm not sure how I would be able to handle work and looking after my son, I know that single mums do it, how though I have no idea. For me as the main earner I would have to take my son to the breakfast club and also he would have to go to after school club, which I wouldn't be able to pick him up till about 6pm. The cost but also the time we spent together would be a major factor.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Why am I so weak
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6 comments:
God, I really feel for you.
I hope you don't think badly of me for saying this.
I obvioulsy don't know your girlfriend and only know of her what you tell us here. But if what you say about her is true, she seems to be very controlling, jealous, uneasonable and immature. She seems to make it difficult for you to leave, difficult for you to stay, difficult for you to have a life of your own and difficult for you to try and move on from these arguments and give the relationship a go.
I do get the impression that whatever you try to do, she won't be happy. And that's because SHE isn't happy. Taking a stab in the dark, I think this is just another way of her trying to call the shots and control you.
If I were you I would call her bluff and let her go. I really don't think she will! But if you wanted to separate with her, this may be the solution.
As for how single parents cope? They just do, because they have to.
Good luck. ((((hugs))))
I am with Elaine on this, she has summed up the situation I think, you can manage on your own, but the grandmother might help, and wouldn't want to lose the contact she has; also the mother should not lose contact for the son's sake.. money isn't everthing and work will be understanding (they have to the law protects the right of parents)
Hi Sage and welcome.
Thank you both for your comments, I do admit that I am not always the most attentive boyfriend and sometimes she doesn't come top of my list but sometimes I think you have to prioritise and do something for you sometimes. Your right, money isn't everything and would have to sacrifice things so that I could afford for the after school and breakfast club, but just means money will be alot tighter.
IT, You can't become one person that would destroy you, you have to have your own time and even your own interests.
I am very inclined to agree with both Elaine and Sage, they don't call her that for no reason you know....lol...but joking aside it sounds very much like part of the grand scheme and I would seriously call her bluff, as a mother she won't be gone long before she needs to spend time with her child, your son.
Good luck and I hope it all works out in the end..xx
Sweetie, as a single parent, you will be funded by the government for afterschool care. You will also receive more money from working tax credit...you will also receive rental assistance. So don't let the finance bit scare you. You are actually BETTER OFF having him live with you. As will he be by the sound of things.
I know it's daunting, but please don't be afraid...make the change...for the better x
IT look at all the great support and advice!! I have to agree, your girlfriend does sound unreasonable, I hate to say that about a fellow female and I'm sure you've got your fair share of faults (as do we all!!) but personally I'd be exhausted living with her that's for sure - and I doubt I'd find myself staying in love with her.
Good luck hon, stick to your guns.
x
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