Confession

I have smoked a few cigarettes and a couple of joints this month.

To be exact it was on the Tuesday and Wednesday of last week.

It was the drive to Scotland and the drive back and during the funeral I was smoking, but i have not touched one since then.

I think that there is something up with my gf but i don't know how to approach her about it without her getting all defensive and starting an argument.

It all started Sunday when i picked her up from work, I could tell she was angry and upset over something, I asked and she said "nothing" which I have learnt means something.

So we get home and I put my son to bed for his afternoon snooze and the gf goes to bed to as she had been out the night before.

I feel a bit tired but do a bit of tidying in the kitchen and prepare dinner.

About halfway through making dinner my son wakes up and so he comes downstairs. Once dinner is nearly ready I call down the gf which she is just stirring from her slumber.

We sit down and have dinner which was a hit except I was the only one to finish.

I then bath and put my son to bed and after some time of him playing up and not going to bed he finally falls asleep and me and the gf sit down and chill for a bit. About 10 we decide to call it a day and head off to bed. Once in bed I start getting comfortable when she decides to tell me all about her day, now this is hard for me as my eyes were already rolling in to the back of my head and when she starts talking to be she sees this happens and says goodnight, so I instantly open my eyes knowing she needs to talk.

So she starts telling me about her day and how bad it has been so I tell her she should take it up with her boss which she says she has done before, so I tell her to do it again, she said she might. I would like to do it myself but she has got to stand on her own two feet now and again. She then tells me that shes sorry for the way she has been acting but she has been having all sorts of things going on in her head and is feeling trapped, she tells me that she wants to start over and move back in to her mums, which I tell her is fine with me, my son would still be with me. She tells me i can then have the house that I want which I tell her that i would only need a two bed place if she did move out.

So we talk it out a bit and she tells me that she will be fine and that she will sort her head out, I did say that she should maybe go and see the doctor but she waved this idea off. Now I am no doctor but could this be a sign of depression as Monday she couldn't get herself out of bed to take our son to school so I did it.

Last night when she got in she told me she was going to bed as she was tired and went straight up as soon as she had put the washing on that I then had to get out, which isn't a problem but the way it was done was. I was on the xbox when she came in and she asked me if i had done the washing that she forgot to remind me about, to which I said "no", so she put it on then came and sat down and normally she will get a magazine out and i will finish when I reach the next save point, last night though, straight away it was turn this off, so when I said when I finished this bit she got in a mood with me and said she was going to bed, to which I said I will finish this then you can stay down with me. Nope that didn't work then as i was tired to I said as soon as this is finished I will come to bed to, to which she said fine I will stay up and put the washing out, so I said fine and soon as this is finished I will be up she said no now, so I carried on and she went up to bed and I stayed up till it was finished.

I have booked a trip to see my mum at the end of July and am taking my son with me so I hope that this time alone to herself will help abit and relieve some of the stress she is going through looking after our son everyday (not that I think he is that much of a handful)

I am worried about her but no idea what to do at the mo, one step though is that she has decided to go on to the contraceptive injection again and she had been looking in to it the other day.