Yesterday from about 10am I was on a promise. The gf had said tonight we will have some fun.
So this in turn got my mind thinking of all sorts of things, so to make sure we were going to have some fun I asked her what time did she want me back from the pub after football and she said it didn't matter. So now I think I am going to have my cake and eat it.
I get home from work just before 6 after popping to the shop to pick some bits up for her dinner, she is still in her good mood so I get ready for football and nothing is still said about what time i should be home. After football i go in to the bar and have a couple of pints and get home about 21:15 and the gf is on the computer and I casually mention the plans and she tells me "I'm to tired now", "oh" I go. She then says I thought you would have been back sooner, you told me to have our son in bed early (what I had said was that he normally is in bed when i get home).
So last night nothing happened, we then get in to bed and start talking when she tells me she wants another baby and she will have another baby. Now I don't want another child, I am very happy and love my son to bits. I understand the maternal instinct especially as she had four babies to look after in creche today.
I know my son was great as a baby and he was such an easy baby to look after, and this is me being selfish, what is the next one is hard work, waking during the night crying etc, I know this is what babies do but I am in a happy place really with my son and I want him to have all my love as a parent and not split it between two children. I know parents with two children say you love them both the same and I believe that but the attention one gets over another will always be different, not on purpose and children can pick up on this so easy.
But the line that did get me was the "I will have another baby" meaning that if its not me then it will be with someone else. So do I cut my loses now and do a runner or do I stick it out till she it adamant in having another baby and when i saw no watch her go off. Ok I know this may just be words but what if its not. I spoke to someone about a month ago when I was still smoking and he told me that his brother/brother in law and partner split up because he didn't want another child and she did and they were happily married (I think).
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UPDATE
After texting her to see if this is what she meant, her answer was "Well I don't want another child now. So I am guessing that she thinks I may change my mind later on and she maybe right. The above I guess was me getting on my soapbox
Thursday, May 10, 2007
When's a Promise Not a Promise
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4 comments:
I have no doubt that you would love both children equally and split your time fairly with them! But....sorry to say this....I really don't think it's the right time for her or you to be considering having another one. The relationship has been a bit rocky lately, hasn't it? I think you should concentrate getting yourselves back into that happy place together first!
Sorry...it wasn't meant to be a lecture, I'd just hate to see you make a decision you may live to reget. x
Did she know already that you didn't want more children? Do you think that maybe, just maybe, she thought she could get you home early from the pub if you were on a promise, and when you didn't turn up as early as she had expected, maybe she threw the 'another baby' comment in to get at you?
Not that women are deviously spiteful, but I'm sure, from a womans point of view, that she was certain you would be home early... like straight after the match... as in, not go to the pub at all IT
Hi Miss, Your right it has been and that is one reason why I wouldn't another child and also becuase I am happy with my son.
Ali, you could be right but the discussion was when we were in bed after talking about our day so I don't think it was a jab at me. I had sent her text during the day asking what time she wanted me back, why didn't she just tell me to come straight home.
because it was a test... and im sorry to say, you failed it. By letting you know you were on a promise,she didnt expect that you would then need instructions on when to come home, she assumed you would arrive home forthwith.
You didn't
Hence she was tired.
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