When I said it was going to be a quiet week, I was wrong.
I had a phone call from my brother and he asked me to phone him back, usually this means he wants some money or something, what happened actually left me speechless for a minute.
Bro "My ex is pregnant"
Me ".............."
me "What, tell me that again"
bro "she's pregnant"
me "Are you sure its yours"
bro "yeah I'm sure"
So I started asking other questions like how old she is and how far gone she is etc, so which, she is 20yrs old, 8 weeks gone and doesn't know what she wants to do.
I have been in this position twice myself, once with an ex and once with the current gf. The first time I didn't really talk to anyone about it and we went the abortion route, this is a very hard route to go down and if I had know this at the time it might never have happened as when you come out the other side everything changes. The second time I don't even think abortion crossed my mind, I'm not sure if that was due to the past experience or whether I did want to be a dad but this time I had someone to talk to and I did.
When my brother told me I told him that there are three options, abortion, becoming a dad and adoption.
Abortion, my brother told me he doesn't believe in this, which is fine, but I reminded him that this is an option. I told him it won't be easy for either of them and will be an emotional roller-coaster.
Becoming a dad, I think my brother would make a great dad but at the moment he isn't in the right place to be one. He's 22 and hasn't really settled in to any job and doesn't know what to do with his life, I think he is staying a a friends house but seems to get moved long to the next friend after a couple of months as he doesn't pull he weight or owes them money for rent etc. I guess what I am trying to say is that he is still young and still has his life to live. If the ex and him got back together I don't think it would be for them it would be for the baby and I don't believe that would be good for any of them.
Adoption, this I have no idea about but I don't think it will be an easy decision.
Last I told my brother to go and have a few beers and just sit and think about what he wants and what decision he wants to take and that he will have to sit down with the ex and together they will have to talk, hard yes but is the only way. I have told him that I am at the end of the phone whenever he needs me.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Um ah I don't know what to say
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
God, that's such a difficult situation. I suppose all he can do is offer to be there for her, no matter what she decides to do. Fairly or not, I guess it is her decision, after all. x
Hi Miss
As they are split up your right, but I just hope that they sit down together and work out what route they will go down, hopefully my brother will be there for her.
Even if they were still together, the final decision comes to the woman.
Very hard one to make as well, because as you know, having a child changes your life.
I had an abortion when I was 25. I wasn't with the guy anymore, and no way was I ready for a child, especially on my own. I didn't even tell the guy I was pregnant. So for his Ex to tell him, I guess she's seriously considering keeping the child. Good luck to them all.
I see your point about her telling him and I did question it myself in my head when he told me. I was about 22 when my ex had an abortion I just wasn't ready for it.
Post a Comment